Something set my car alarm off at 5:00 🧐

I’m at three full work days and counting of trying to coach Claude, at my employer’s demand, on how to build a slide deck that takes me at most one hour a month to update and compile. I love the future!

Been a while since I’ve gone to Panera I guess

🥹

🙅🏼‍♀️

Best episode of The Golden Girls, wrong answers only

Am I too old to start performing in Shen-Yun

Down 18 pounds YTD without making any lifestyle changes. Fingers crossed it’s not lung cancer!

Me to a rotisserie chicken:

Ruth Badass Ginsburg

That’s it. Thats the tweet.

Now since when is Junior a public toilet pig?

the big surprise, apart from her bravery, is that she’s not running this as a lularoe-style mlm

My favorite thing about working from home is that I’m allowed to stream Murder She Wrote all day every day

I don’t think I have any way of watching Bravo these days, but I can already tell that this show is a whole-cloth work of fiction. That table would be covered with stuffed quahogs, coffeemilk, manicotti, and that gross pizza with no cheese on it.

A movie couple that would definitely have a podcast

I have no idea what Kiesza is doing in Hungary but it sounds like she is killing it 🇨🇦🇭🇺

🫂

Justin Trudeau and Katy Perry at Coachella. They are dressed way too young for their age.

“Hello, fellow teenagers!”

🥵

Aww, poor Tim 😢. Gone but not forgotten, you love to hear it.

Sorry, I can’t do tomorrow. I’m having my uterus scraped.

I just discovered that this attractive guy I’ve been hooking up with once in a while rated The Green Mile five stars on Letterboxd and I. Am. Mortified.

I’d like to intub*te Noah Wyle’s h*le with my t*ngue

“If you think this is something, you should come over some time and have a look in my drawers!”

That was the basic thesis and he crystallizes it more and more in the second half. Put it down if you’re not enjoying it. It’s really only worth reading as an artifact of a perspective of its time. Not super relevant to the nowadays.

Super cool how when you most need to find & see a therapist is at the times in your life when you can least afford it.

Doubles partner canceled on me because his wife is on her cycle or something so I made better plans

I might have hit the retinol too hard last night 🫨