Raddysh Season! #GoBolts

Martin St. Louis turned into Shane McMahon so gradually I didn't even notice. #GoBolts

We've almost come back to the fabled land of mid-summer Saturday afternoon shows.

If the war in Iran causes Spirit Airlines' bankruptcy plan to fail into liquidation, that's going to be a tough pill the swallow with all the flights being cancelled last minute.

Everything I have learned about streamers has been against my will.

So, Sydney Sweeney knew the upcoming season of Euphoria was going to show her as a child with her legs spread, so she spent the months leading up to it flirting with the alt-right, making sure the target demographic would be watching.

Not a bad marketing move.

First real vacation I took with my wife, we're in a hotel room in the middle of nowhere watching an illegal feed of Penguins/Flyers in the first round of the playoffs. 13 goals, 150 penalty minutes, seven PPG.

Chaos. We both loved it.

These two should play every year in the first round.

Is there anything JD Vance touches that isn't immediately made worse? Hungary, Iran negotiations, Couches, Catholicism, Ohio....

It's still early days and everything, but I don't think those folks who specifically put "Christian" in their social media biographies are actual Christians.

Well, hello, beautiful.

"Cold pizza and prosecco?"

"Yeah, because I know how to party."

Chik-Fil-A Presents: The Moana Remix - What Can I Say Except My Pleasure? (2026)

I've gotten called a "Parasite on Society" and a "Coward for not propagating the species," and I maintain nobody who uses those phrases unironically has ever gotten their dick wet in the history of society. So really, they're going to end up in the same boat as me, just involuntarily.

Mentioning on reddit that I'm happy I didn't have kids is like if I was the President bombing Iran. It created a lot more problems than it solved, and everyone is really mad at me for something I'm not going to fix.

Well, you could issue subpoenas to--ahahahaha I'm kidding this won't ever get investigated.

Early in the morning, something stupid happens, market goes one way, around 2:30-3:00, something happens that makes the first thing irrelevant, everything bounces the other way.

I'm not a STONKZ guy or anything, but if you didn't think to yourself at some point yesterday, "I should buy into the market because the moment that dipshit chickens out, it's going to skyrocket" you're leaving money on the table.

Super glad folks decided to A) Remove a sitting president from the ticket with six weeks notice because he was an old man with a life long stutter, and B) Immediately refuse to support the replacement, because *SHE* was the one advocating for genocide.

He's why agents shouldn't own media companies.

These wins brought to you by "This place is actually kind of loud. Watch Yandy make contact on the first pitch," "Caminero is either going to strike out here or hit a home run," and "I bet Taylor Walls hits a double to piss off @brianfletcher.bsky.social "

Thanks Rays! #HailGamblor

Not me scrubbing the stamp on my wrist for the Rays Draft Room like I'm Lady Macbeth. I liked it better when it was ultraviolet and not a GIANT BLUE SQUARE

Well, well, well. Here we go again.

Got an Opening Day Rays ticket dropped in my lap. Let's goooooo!

Every time I see one of those Mad Libs Facebook Slop shirts in public, I can't hold back the giggle.

Like, what if I walked around in a shirt saying "I am a FATHER of a KITTY who is EXHAUSTED by EVERYONE BEING AWFUL. I'm also a GEMINI with a RENEWED PASSPORT and a GOOD RECIPE FOR EDIBLES too!"

My parents are carnie telemarketers who scam everyone they've ever met, and now are both working at grocery store delis in their 80s because they're awful people.

I'm all set. Fuck em.

Man, if that pilot that ejected got captured, the Democrats should be doing wall to wall commercials with Trump talking about how he doesn't respect soldiers who get taken prisoner.

They won't. But they should.

All I'm saying is finishing off a declaration of war with "Glory be to God" when you get really upset when the other side says "God is Great" is a wild position to take, even given everything else involved.

Why is it always the most painfully unfunny people that try to do April Fools jokes?