This Is Just To Say

I have turned off
the AI features
that were in
the update

and which
you were probably
hoping
to monetize

Fuck you
they were stupid
so unnecessary
and so annoying

I bloody loved that show!

Hi.

Oh! WHAT a booking!

"she'll make you take your clothes off and go dancing in the rain"

She can fucking try.

Me: [idly looking up info on popes]

Wikipedia: This list is incomplete; you can help expand it.

Me: wut?

Wikipedia: [lifts eyebrows suggestively]

It ain’t broke! While you’re at it, why not replace the head and drop the wildlife stuff: how to fix Sir David Attenborough

It does literally, yes.

This was my "Is there a doctor of philosophy on the plane?" moment.

We were watching the astronauts, er...landing? But they didn't "land", they were in the ocean. The English word "splashdown" just isn't as satisfying as the French equivalents, "atterrissage" and "amerrissage"

And it works for any planet or moon, "alunissage", "amarsissage", "atitanissage"

If we're serious about achieving Net Zero, we need to have a grown-up conversation about older people filling the kettle right up to the top every single time they make a cup of tea.

She has now started asking to do her affirmations when she's having a tough time. I knew she was cute but I was not prepared for, "I bit sad. Mations? [Baby's name] kind..." 🥹

"You may have completed this unit but you would also complete me."

Oh, I'm so sorry 😞

Hare is basically a canary for neurodivergent people.

I wasn't even there but can confirm.

THEY TRAINED THE AI ON ACTUAL WRITERS. YOU CANNOT TELL IF SOMETHING IS AI SIMPLY BASED ON IT USING PROPER GRAMMAR. IT STOLE FROM US!!! IT STOLE!!! IT IS A THIEF AND I WILL NOT EVER BE QUIET ABOUT IT!!!!

Give the horse a damn cake.

I dunno. I'd say it's been an OK Friday.

The Easter hamper has arrived from family in Germany so I get to play the annual game of German Easter Egg Russian Roulette, aka "Does this egg contain the most delicious chocolate or fondant you have ever had in your life (90% chance) or fucking marzipan?"

April Fools getting all psyched for its big day & the news going it's alright this year mate, we got this.

Decathlon have stopped selling the same pair of trainers Mr Zoe has been buying for a decade, and my two local supermarkets no longer stock the one type of Quorn dinosaurs my 7yo will eat (and her most reliable source of protein). *cries in Loved One Of Autistic People*

Yay! As someone whose parents have received blood several times over the years, I am so grateful 🙏

I've got out of the routine with the breaks for pregnancy, covid etc but thanks for the reminder to start again!

Alde McDonald hadde a farme
Laude sing cucu
And on farme a cow in barn
And springth the wud enu
Hither and yea thither now
Laude crie the mu
Loweth now the calv and cow
And wel singest cucu

Petition to start having holiday activity clubs for grownups too. I'm jealous of all the things I see being advertised for my kids. *I* want to spend a day doing mindfulness and Easter crafts, or a musical theatre workshop learning a routine from Hamilton, dammit.

“Vera,” said the countess, turning to her older daughter, obviously not her favorite. “How is it you have no notion of anything?” Excerpt From War and Peace Leo Tolstoy, Richard Pevear & Larissa Volokhonsky https://books.apple.com/us/book/war-and-peace/id460819556 This material may be protected by copyright.

“I often think how unfairly life’s good fortune is sometimes distributed. Why has fate given you two such nice children (excluding Anatole, your youngest, I don’t like him),” she put in peremptorily, raising her eyebrows, “such lovely children? And you really value them less than anyone and are therefore unworthy of them.” And she smiled her rapturous smile.” Excerpt From War and Peace Leo Tolstoy, Richard Pevear & Larissa Volokhonsky https://books.apple.com/us/book/war-and-peace/id460819556 This material may be protected by copyright.

“The count is suffering both physically and morally, and it seems you have taken care to cause him as much moral suffering as possible.” “May I see the count?” Pierre repeated. “Hm! … If you want to kill him, to kill him outright, you may see him.” Excerpt From War and Peace Leo Tolstoy, Richard Pevear & Larissa Volokhonsky https://books.apple.com/us/book/war-and-peace/id460819556 This material may be protected by copyright.

I’m reading War and Peace, and you know, probably a lot more people would read it if they knew just how extremely cunty the dialogue is

As long as the "brightly coloured ink" wasn't blood, I'm all for this. Tell people (in a respectful and appropriate way) that you like or admire them! A few years back, I made a NYR to never keep compliments as inside thoughts, and I don't regret it at all.

Mine is lying in her cot yelling, "More hokey cokey!" Up until this point, I'd found her obsession with the hokey hokey adorable.

Sending strength to all the other parents out there attempting to put their small children to bed when it's now light and their body clock is telling them it's too early. 🫡

I'm pretty sure the fastest I have ever moved was today at the petting zoo when my baby was petting the rabbits and suddenly went, "Ooh! Raisin!"