if i was a mad scientist id give cats human teeth

white guy with a race play fetish that asks his black girlfriend to act like an asian

i play dark souls boss music while i beat my child

you're 'fasting' because of ramadan? slow down bro we're in a school zone...

if a sandwich has bacon as its only meat it doesn't even feel like it has meat: bacon is a side bitch and should only be consumed with a bigger, stronger flesh

the devil wears nada and you see his tiny penis and long nipples

ive started calling busty women 'fat chested' to keep those bitches in line

if plankton renamed his restaurant to the cum bucket i think he'd get more customers

instead of valentines day it should be palentines day and we get to have gay sex with our homies

i call the river thames 'thim'

why did we move from currency being backed by gold to currency being backed by an italian car brand?

if cacti were sentient do you think pulling out their spines would make them scream in pleasure, or pain?

if i was a scientist i would invent sex pests (cockroaches that sneak into your room while you're having sex and jerk off)

id let these little sluts slob my knob any day

they should make a dick pill that makes me NOT get hard when i see a hot guy

if steve harvey actually played meet n fuck kingdom, he'd actually understand the stalwart timelessness of the genre and its rightful place as modern art

waiting for the moment my wife gives birth to then force her to pick his name from this list

changing my pet name of pussy to rhino to show my reverence of such a powerful beast

im one of the few intellectuals actively rooting for the bogdanoffing of aging male actors - the art form of film needs more mickey rourke's!

god is a black trans queen and she's sending me straight to hell for laughing at cumtown

if a dog beat me at an award for humans id fucking kill myself

getting a tear-drop tattoo for every abortion i make my gf get

hey chatgpt, generate my cock in your ass 😜

damn ariana grande got really fat for wicked hopefully she can shed a couple of pounds

I asked my down syndrome cousin what his favourite snack is and he handed me his box of crayons

making a porn parody of john wick called long dick and he fucks everyone that neutered his dog

looking for an autistic baddie who's special interests are cooking and power rangers

they should invent pants that make your farts louder

you think the grinch's asshole is bleached?

the beachside body positivity convention has been renamed 'the bay of pigs'