Hey sorry I keep forgetting to post on social media my bad

12:26pm and my coworker gets up from her desk and says "I should go eat my breakfast." She said she likes to take her time and ease into her day

I was baptized as a child which means that I can do all of the sins in life and never have to go to Hell so I chose to be gay happy pride everyone

You're clearly the best at stripping

God damn...

She's right--

"Oh, I forgot my soda. Oh, it's in my hand. I'm high."

Oooh jumpscare

Well I guess I'm going to Crumbl tomorrow

new meme format just dropped

Just found out one of my old managers left the company after 24 years and now I'm sad 😢

"He looks like that guy from Mass Effect... Gary?"

*Chef's kiss*

This game...

Um I just saw a shooting star for the first time in my life and it was amazing??

"You ever try to spread your feet like wings?"

"What're you playing all night?"

"...... I'm so high."

Thank you Biden for not enforcing the ban on TIkTok on your last day in office! 🙏🙏🙏 Praise Be Unto Joe!

Today my coworker said "we've got a meeting to go to" but when I pointed out that only she's going to the meeting she said "yep me and the turd in my pocket" and I was literally too stunned to speak for a bit

I need to go to the nicer coffee places more often

Hey that's pretty neat

"Tomorrow's Friday."

"Oh, I thought it was Saturday... today's Wednesday?!"

I just read this back to him and he goes "I spelled it wrong??"

I was asked if I wanted to play Borderlands 3 with my friends and I think that's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me

I really hope that one DLC wins GOTY because I think it's funny how upset people got when it was nominated

@nikonpunch.bsky.social Ya know I still wear this pretty regularly

Old advice article from 1971 that my mom saved

I'm cosplaying as IT today. I just had to explain to my boss how to determine if she opened a file in Excel or if she opened a shared sheet in Chrome.

Wise words