Brits probably call handjobs spoogey woogies or some shit

That's the guy who signed the paperwork

Too stupid to be successful. Too smart to be happy.

The capricious Capricorn carried cases of cloves confidently

Ever wake up like

It's ok. I have been certified by a board of doctors to be insane in public

It is now

It is now

I’ve definitely told someone "I’m almost there" while I was still standing in my bathroom in a towel, debating if I even want to go.

X-Stream Piss Sports

You're in her DMs. She's in mine asking if the carpet matches the beard.

You precious morons. You adorable imbeciles. Oh, just wait.

As a former 30 year old and currently 46 year old watching 30 somethings complain about body changes....

You have no fucking clue. You don't even know, you dumb asses have mo idea. You're oblivious, you sweet idiots

Thank you. The kids, though. The kids scare me man

“You up?” —in this economy?

Pay the ransom or I will release more from drafts

a man in a judge 's robe is saying did you say " youts " ALT: a man in a judge 's robe is saying did you say " youts "

First, are a you a yout?

If my moobs get any bigger I'll have to express them, too.

crafting my most wel made erection yet

Mutes "420"

BlueSky disappears from my phone

🎵 Despite being a mage, I've never performed live on stage 🎵

i went to buy a bag of dicks and they're all pre-sucked now?? i don't understand this world

cut my life into pieces please and thank you

oh slug found a round lil shell now u like him i see how u are

ay bro pass that life u high on

My man boobs are almost big enough that I can start wearing the Madonna cone bra

Pinned down by cats. This is a good death.

Is it Monday Masturbationthon again already?