- he never thought about touching me because of how my dad is. No matter what your mom tried. He was never decent. The only good thing I could say is he was smart enough to give her the boys. His ex-wives are pieces of shit.

[I laughed, knowing fully well he was suggesting.] I know I just had to tease her. Of course I’m gonna pay for it later. [I rolled my eyes, thinking about how annoying and frustrating the time with Jackson was.] she really did try to be decent to him and it always backfired. It got worse later. -

- last.] if she was in the house and I said that guaranteed she would’ve smacked me with a pillow or something.

- I quickly replied which earned me my full name in capital letters. I was laughing so hard Vinny probably thought I had lost my mind.] I told her not to let him wear her out so much that she walks funny tomorrow and she did this. [I showed him my phone which had my first and middle name with his -

- shot him in the nuts and left with it. She has all of Tommy‘s things because Gemma didn’t want it in the house anymore and Jax said just throw it away like he meant nothing but then his son is named after him so what the fuck?? [I shook my head and smiled when I got a message from Lexi as well. -

[I pulled Vinny out onto the back deck for a minute.] it was Tommy’s. That’s why he was adamant about asking your mom himself. Lexi never lets anybody use that blanket, except Abel. if I remember correctly, her and Jackson got into a fight over that blanket and she told him to fuck off before she -

- Melody. I walked back over to Vinny hugging him tightly.] I think we don’t have to worry about him with her. He’s very attentive, baby. It’s really sweet.

- Tommy’s blanket, walking it over to Abel.] You are being so sweet to her. I can promise you her parents appreciate that. I know your mama does and I do. [he smiled, kissing my cheek. “I love you, Nanny. Thank you for helping me.” I had to hug him for that because he was being so helpful with -

-talking had to be painful for him. After Vinny talked to Gracie, I kissed him softly.] we all have to adjust to that. She’s not normally that bad babe. I don’t know what’s going on. I think she’s adjusting, but we’ll keep an eye on her. [I went to the closet and pulled out the container holding -

[I wrapped my arms around him, kissing his cheek.] Thank you, baby. I had a feeling she might get triggered when she talked about that with him, but he needs to know. [I saw Manny coming down the stairs, so I really quickly made him an ice pack meeting him halfway. I didn’t say much to him because -

- mom needs you for a minute baby.

- right into mommy mode. When he asked for his uncle Bubba‘s blanket, my eyes went wide. I knew exactly which blanket he was referring to and I knew he considered that his blanket no, which Lexi didn’t argue with. the fact that he was willing to share is what made my eyes pop.] Vin I think your -

- call mommy. I have to ask her very important question and she’s the only one that can give me permission.” I wasn’t sure I liked this plan, but since he asked, I wasn’t about to say no. When Lexi came on the screen, I was immediately alerted that she was triggered and upset, but somehow she went -

- used to things just being hers and it was going to be an adjustment, but seeing her snatch things from Melody wasn’t sitting well with me. When she did it again, I noticed Vinny catch it. Abel walked over to me and I was ready for him to have a meltdown, but he quietly spoke. “Could you please -

[I smiled, trying to calm my nerves, but when Abel got a little loud I was concerned. Then once he explained the godmother and me came out.] Gracie sweetheart I know you’re not used to sharing things but you need to right now she’s not going to ruin it. [I knew it wasn’t her fault that she was -

- probably punch him in the face due to the whole Trinity situation, but he really wasn’t a bad man and I’m tired of people thinking he was because we weren’t allowed to talk about him.

- she flipped the fuck out. She was not having it. [I wrapped my arms around his waist.] I try not to get involved in shit for her, but I know not being able to talk about JT has hurt me as much as it hurt her. He’s not an evil man he never was. I do know that if he was alive right now she would -

[I looked at him for a minute and smiled.] I don’t really know because she hasn’t been healthy so I don’t know what the deal is but if you want to keep some, I’m sure she would let you. That’s how she ended up with reaper because your dad was going to get rid of him because he wasn’t perfect and -

- did. She used to talk to my dad all the time and she won’t even talk to him. It makes me sad baby. It really does he misses her.

- both have so much anger because of how people have treated both of us. I honestly thought her mom was doing the right thing I didn’t know and now that I know I am really pissed. I know I can’t undo. What’s been done. I just wish she felt comfortable talking maybe E will have better luck than I -

- mouth. That is not something I’ve been able to do in a long time. I’m really tired of Lexi being hushed too. I refuse to let it happen in this house. It’s her house if she wants to talk about the people we lost then we should be able to do that. I know she has a lot of love for people, but we -

[I couldn’t lie I loved the kisses but hearing him tell me that he would never stop me from speaking. My mind was a new thing. The last person to do that was Pedro and I haven’t been with him in years.] I don’t want them to go to their owners soon. I’m glad you will be okay with me opening my -

- I’m sorry babe. I shouldn’t have said shit to him, but I’m tired of biting my tongue when it comes to shit like this. The last time I felt comfortable talking about shit was when I was with Pedro and that was a long-ass time ago.

- and since I lost Ronnie, I understand why he checked out after Thomas. I get it. Lexi gets it too, but not being able to talk about him. It hurts knowing what the club turned into hurts too especially when our club is based on both his and the Mayans. I don’t know. I just couldn’t deal. -

[I hug Vinny tight exhaling slowly before I said anything.] I don’t normally say anything but dammit I grew up with JT too. I miss him too. He was so fucking funny and really just a giant kid. Things changed when Tommy died for obvious reasons but it’s like he’s a forbidden subject. It’s not fair -

- then I will be back to help you with the kids. I just need a minute. You can follow me if you want.

- your son, your niece and the mother of your son. Don’t be disrespecting John in this house if I catch you doing it again you’re gonna realize why people are afraid of me. [I kissed Vinny softly getting the puppies and Rosie out of her pen.] I’m going to let these guys run for a few minutes and -

- kind of thing that never allowed Lexi to feel like she could talk to anyone. You need to remember who their biological grandfather is and if you can’t respect that you need to leave and I don’t mean maybe. And you also need to remember it was his club you joined it was his club you chose over -

[I knew he was right, but that didn’t make this situation and easier for me emotionally. When abuelita was explaining who she was to Tommy I couldn’t help but notice happy’s facial expression. I didn’t even think about it before he smacked his arm hard enough that everybody heard it.] This is the -

- but now I would like them for my own state of mind.