It’s a giant crab spider, not dangerous, but they are fast as hell and they eat other bugs.

Asking ChatGPT to identify a spider in my home

NGL I hate to see my husband sleeping peacefully

Me checking the refrigerator one more time before I order DoorDash

Damn what’s going on ??😂

It seems like everybody is having a party today damn. Where is my invite

I’ve only heard it a few times but it basically means “get over it, that’s life” lol

I hate the phrase “charge it to the game.” Cuz bitch what game are we playing

We do ass whoopins over here, so keep your bad ass kids at your own house.

Pink sands

No son of mine is going to play sports. You’ll stay in your room until you become a doctor. And that’s final.

Yall done broke BlueSky.

Very self aware 😂

a woman with dreadlocks and glasses is eating a cheeseburger ALT: a woman with dreadlocks and glasses is eating a cheeseburger

Me after criticizing someone else’s eating habits:

a close up of a woman wearing a ponytail and a necklace smiling . ALT: a close up of a woman wearing a ponytail and a necklace smiling .

Who the hell is keeping Arby’s in business…that roast beef look like pussy lips

The price of gas better be under $4 by the end of the week

two men are laying on the floor with the words shh go to sleep ALT: two men are laying on the floor with the words shh go to sleep

🤣😂

I was almost asleep but then I needed to know how deep the ocean is.

a man in a brown shirt stands in a boxing ring with a sign behind him that says ' lg ' ALT: a man in a brown shirt stands in a boxing ring with a sign behind him that says ' lg '

You’re supposed to be asleep rn

a man with a beard is sitting in a chair with something wrong with henry written below him ALT: a man with a beard is sitting in a chair with something wrong with henry written below him

wtf did I just watch 😂

Billy Wilder’s Sunset Boulevard (1950) is the portrait of a forgotten silent star, living in exile in her ridiculous mansion, screening her old films, dreaming of a comeback.
But it’s also a love story, and the love keeps it from becoming simply a waxwork or a freak show.

deli&cia food place

I'm at the deli. I'm at the central intelligence agency. I'm at the combination deli & cental intelligence agency.

He’s a New York grifter. He’s been scamming this whole time. Kamala tried to tell us.

Sabrina Carpenter reminds me of Miss Piggy in the most cutest and wholesome way

a woman in a blue jacket is holding a stick in her mouth . ALT: a woman in a blue jacket is holding a stick in her mouth .

I just tried macaroons for the 1st time and they are disgusting omg

a woman in an orange dress is holding a green water gun and says get it grandma . ALT: a woman in an orange dress is holding a green water gun and says get it grandma .

Reading my newspaper and drinking my coffee cuz imma old hoe

a girl sitting in a stadium with a sticker on her seat that says ' e1 ' ALT: a girl sitting in a stadium with a sticker on her seat that says ' e1 '

I’m here for the light-skinned stud

I still like to read the physical newspaper. I miss the days when I could read the news without reading people’s comments. Digital news is just not appealing to me.

I was not meant to be a mother cuz I’m CACKLING at the sight of my child falling rn 😩😂😂😂😂😂