someone who is good at math (me) pls help us to understand
me: we’re screwed

i love the earth bc it allowed humans to evolve and they invented churros and muscle relaxers

the Earth is magnificent but is stepping up its efforts to eradicate humans off the face of itself and that is glorious because we suck 🌳

FACTS ABOUT MY FAVORITE PLANET

E xcellent
A mazing
R eally cool
T he people could chill out
H ippos live here also

✍🏼

oh please at least darth vader had charisma

when my garbage disposal started making these noises we had to have it replaced

my tongs go in the ceramic container on the counter don’t even think about putting those clippity clappers in my drawers

oof you’d better unload it too as you are playing a dangerous game babe

Cassini WAC RGB view.

W1786977026 - From Gordan Ugarković (ugordan.bsky.social) - https://flic.kr/p/vTfNy6

Earth has been the exclusive home of humanity for 300,000 years, but besides that it's pretty great

Dear diary - I’m still replying to bots when will it end.

Me: Do you think Gritty and Grimace are cousins?

Interviewer: I meant questions about the job

The Straight of Herdez is filled with salsa casera.

if we're both still single by the time we are dead, then whew

I like when an actor who usually plays Weird Little Freaks gets to play a *different* kind of Weird Little Freak than the type of Weird Little Freak they usually play

*moss growing over me and mushrooms growing out of me* happy earth day

famous music video with first mate schee in the corner

That’s Smee in the corner

Love this shot of Saturn near the solstice. The rings are casting those shadows on the cloud tops.

The Onion wants to make us submissive slaves to the New world order.

Correct.

damnit i at least wanted a haunted hot topic

they’ll unload the dishwasher but they’ll do it in a way that makes you irrationally angry and kids that’s marriage

👋🏻 🙌🏻

White crabapple flowers

Purple lilac flowers

Scratch and Sniff

Anyone by chance going to the sleep store anytime soon

such a pos

💰
🫴🏻 and a thief

holding a seance so i can call thomas edison a psycho

A closeup image of a crescent moon in the shape of a smile

the moon out here smiling at me tonight

i would pay big $ to bring you both back from the dead — tysm! 🥰🙌🏻🎉