Matt Damon playing a 14th century French knight that looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Mullet. Beard. Smells like horse shit, pine tar, and cigarette smoke.

Matt Damon while playing Odysseus who also looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Long, skinny beard. Smells like horseshit, pine tar, and perhaps Mediterranean herbs.

Matt Damon playing a 19th century cowboy that looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Mustache. Shaggy hair. Smells like horse shit, pine tar, and definitely chewing tobacco.

Every time Matt Damon takes on a period role he ends up looking like a third baseman for the Phillies.

It’s inaccurate to say Mario is brave and Luigi is cowardly

Luigi is afraid of death, so he runs away from danger. Mario is afraid of living, so he runs towards death. Both brothers are cowards in their own way

I cannot believe this is official artwork lmao

How do sea horses look like that and they dont even know what land horses look like

i shall seek the beek in heaven 🕊️

"ohhh i hate these AIs" "we should smash these robots if we see them" i see but as soon as a robot calls itself a hitchhiker, suddenly your ENTIRE CITY gets SMEARED for doing what NEEDS TO BE DONE

Go birds

Infographic altered by me from the New York Times showing four different groups of federal troops dressed in their little tough guy cosplay gear. Text reads: Making Sense of the Federal Forces on the Streets With President Trump sending ICE, Border Patrol, the National Guard and other forces to U.S. cities, here's how to tell them apart- and what their powers are. Big Dweebs Walking Nutsacks LOSERS Turd-eating Bitch Boys Credit for original, unaltered image: Bora Erden/The New York Times

wow really helpful, thank you new york times

You know the RPG whips when your mom wakes you up in the beginning and tells you you’re gonna be late

Do you hear what i hear thats the sound of your ass hittin the pavement jabroni

“Do You Hear What I Hear” on the no fly list

Holyshit

Me rn

Do a shot every time someone uses the word “flavorful” on tik tok

Go birds

know your ABCs:

Arthur’s Theme written by
Burt Bacharach sung by
Christopher Cross

yeah i love waymo, way mo immigrants coming to my city

Lean IN sisters!

Hayao please do something. Hayao you have to build the doohickey

Hulu kicked me out did conclave win

as a freelancer with adhd i am basically a severed employee who works from home

Norman Rockwell's "Freedom of Speech"

I think planes shouldn't crash

This has been an excellent tine to have flown like every weekend

Bird Brain is believing the eagles won the superbowl so i could have lunch with my grandmom one last time

Canada please liberate the noble city of Philadelphia from the clutches of the American devils

Im in the pocket of Big Fart

all the world is pennsylvania

Oh to be a dumb little bird flittin & shitin