Pinback is an amazing studio act and terrrrrible live

I thought you were referring to Uncle Ben’s Rice and I was like, yeah, they probably own that too

How many more types of codys will have to perish

Astrology for stoners

Why when you’re in a jam band do you have to name yourself “Wet Lettuce” or “Paradoxical Frog”? Pick a cool name instead

Einstein wouldn’t, but Feynman would have 100%

Do sanitation workers put “I have a passion for poop and piss” on their resumes, or is it just me

Every real man should do these three things:
1. Drink black coffee (eating disorder)
2. Drink straight whiskey (eating disorder)
3. Bench 300lbs (body dysmorphia)

I need…

Who care

Pathetic

No quarter

my wife set off the fire alarm with a particularly foul dump

Always was

Vaxed?

Gen Z will be the first generation to remember a word without air fryers

Fellas: find yourself a woman that likes sports, hold on to her tight and tell her “no thanks, sports are boring but we can still be friends”

Has a name ever gone harder than Ursula LeGuin?

Yes we should have the other guy powering down. He was the better Dying Man for America

Porncupine

Democrats Won’t Do Shit

freddy (not that freddy) vs jason (different jason)

Ol John Poppers

You’re such a wet noodle

There is no way you ever get me to peacefully coexist with a bee: a creature that wants to forcehump its poison-filled detachable insect dick into my dewy tender skin.
Fuck off

If you think about "people who you would not be surprised to see in the Epstein files," it's literally every magician you can think of