Only a child of mine could win a footy game 6-0 and still come off the pitch absolutely fuming about it

Having apple bottom jeans and boots with the fur is actually quite an insane combo with the benefit of hindsight

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Sometimes I think im not quite bonkers enough to be in this line of work and then I remember that I absolutely am

I wish more games had a ‘Tourist mode’ where you could walk around levels and admire all the art without any combat

Social media is a frigging curse

Genuine question, how do you go back to normal when you’ve seen something extremely upsetting that you didn’t want to see while scrolling - it’s been a whole weekend and im still upset about this horrible news story that forced itself into my timeline :(

YOU MUST DO YOUR STRETCHES TO HAVE STRENGTH TO GRIND YOUR ENEMIES' BONES TO DUST.

Whenever there’s talk of hotels on TV it always massively tickles me to hear Americans pronounce “Marriott” the way they do and I can’t even give a full reason why. American “Marriott” somehow has a lot more credence than UK “the Marriott” 🤔😆

Anyway good morning

Women’s Six Nations starts tomorrow 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

I don’t actually think this is a bad take tbh

The world has turned perimenopause into a marketing trend and it’s predatory and tiresome

Lego people are the best thing about Lego (quest designer)

Lego bricks are the best thing about Lego (level designer)

Jacob Elordi is not hot

(Seems like a lovely bloke but what’s the fuss about man)

Charcuterie board/sharing platter/entire table of meats and cheeses is revolting both conceptually and on a gastrointestinal basis

People who don’t like olives are just absolute fannies

Soap opera is high art actually

Baked beans are the devil

What a time to be alive man

The self and the cyberself in quiet introspection

Can’t we send the great orange tit off on a one way trip to do a total regime change on the moon or something

BINS

DRINK WATER FROM THE SKULLS OF YOUR ENEMIES! IF YOU HAVE CRUSHED THEIR SKULLS, USE A GLASS.

What in the everlasting fuck is vibe coding when it’s at home? Sounds like some sort of CGI Zumba physical therapy for seniors

It’s a new tax year which means one thing: time to get absolutely stacked (once these Easter eggs are eaten)

Im kind of dreading having to tackle mine since I got a proper job as I have no idea how to fill it in without accidentally putting myself on some kind of hook 😆

Happy end of the financial year to all who celebrate 🥳

Happy Easter one and all

Getting to that point of the population cultural landscape where I no longer recognise what the fuck anyone’s talking about

Tuesday Carty