🙄I gave the bartender that fuck...it was my last one to give

Is this why you didn't call me back perv?

I made chicken noodle soup yesterday and then overnight bone broth. I feel so mature.

Agreeing with @scottmik104.bsky.social that the weather app didn't say shit about this

❤️

I just made a "call back" phone call that I have been putting off for a long time and guess what? It went to fucking voicemail bitches!🥳🎉💫

I basically kidnapped her from the woods,so I can't tell her nothing.

She does not

Not a fan

Sir...I have no idea how my phone got this way but it has stayed this way

So glad you like it ..I had to delete 4 apps that I use for my phone to upload it. Happy Birthday🫵!

Happy Birthday @steelytom1.bsky.social ! You are one of my favorite things that I bought online and turned out to be better in real life. Love you😘🥰

Thanks girl😚

Hahaha..thank you!

🥰

Thank you baby🥰 Love you😘😘

You mean the best day of my life? Yes I remember.

Happy Birthday ALLISON!!!!!🥳 @alialibobaly.bsky.social I hope you're having the best day🥰

Guy in car next to me just saw me hop in with my fresh hot coffee grab me phone charger tip my cup and try to plug it in the bottom😞

He's a beer snob

Hi @simonb72.bsky.social 👋

Sculpt her in a potato for him

Happy Caturday fuckers

Sputtering away on a moped with the crown jewels is such a moment.

And it's on you if you don't remember "the international tv " joke

Sir. The food is salty. It was salty at the restaurant when you loved it. I did not add salt. That's all 🫠

🙄😞🙄😞🙄😞

Why you lying on international tv? You said "it was all too salty" 😂

Went to a new bbq place @scottmik104.bsky.social loved the food. I just served him the leftovers with some homemade chips and coleslaw. He said everything was all too salty. TF? I salted the homemade chips as one must🙄

Staaaap!!! We're at a bar and I just told Scott I better be getting play by plays🤣