May I suggest a chant: Your children will know what you've done.

It’s been a Monday.

A little mountain air is good for the soul.

Los Angeles, I love you.

The Whitehouse is now a psychiatric ward .

My perfect, beautiful, amazing, majestic meow.

Hello, I’m a disruptor, very smart, here to create efficiency. I’m just going to drill holes in the bottom of this boat to see which parts of the hull are mission-critical.

upon further reflection evolution was a mistake. today i shall be focusing on growing back my gills and returning to the sea

So much winning!

DOGE waste eliminating efforts have reached Twitter.

I’m all out of everything. Look elsewhere.

Me too. At his age, he should be playing with friends.

If I have to hear the word “doge” one more time, my head is going to explode. #txlege

Politics.

Anyone who says that money can’t buy happiness has never paid an adoption fee. Have a great Wednesday

It’s going to be a long long four years. Unbearably traumatizing. Like a daily gut punch.

Credit @vintagefantasy.bsky.social

You're not hungry, you're just staring again at the fridge hoping for a miracle.

If you say any of these words, I immediately loose respect for you: shadow banned, throttled, engagement, influencer, unboxing, collab. There’s more but you see where I’m going with this.

The cream does not rise to the top in Texas, y’all.

me, talking to my boss: doomscrolling is integral to my process

2025 in a nutshell…

Tuesday is going to be such a nightmare. #txlege

a bald man wearing glasses and a black turtleneck is standing in a hallway . ALT: a bald man wearing glasses and a black turtleneck is standing in a hallway .

Tomorrow is opening day of the Texas legislative session #txlege

If we have enough money to buy another country then we have enough money to ensure nobody is homeless or goes hungry.

I’m on my first cruise, ever. It’s some high end situation. So basically, I’m surrounded by old drunks as opposed to young drunks. 3/10 would not recommend.

Picture of a page from a Mo Willems children’s story Elephant and Piggie, wherein piggie is offering Elephant a bowl of green goo with flies buzzing around it while yelling “Do you want to try my slop?” - Elephant does not look excited

every tech company in 2025

I have now eaten all of the Christmas chex mix. All of it.