It was just a tiff. We just happened to blow up a girls' elementary school.

Hey SNL, how about a sketch with RFKJr and Kid Rock singing Forever in Blue Jeans to each other?

#SNL #SaturdayNightLive

They need to make a donation to Donald or award him a peace prize and they will get FDA approval.

Does Donald's annual physical include a visit to a gyneckologist?

Ok, fine, Donald didn't get the Nobel Peace Prize, but I'm taking to the street if he's isn't named People's 2025 Sexiest Man Alive.

#NobelPrize

Donald's doctors say he colors inside the lines better than 80% of six year olds.

SETTLE DOWN! SETTLE THE FUCK DOWN!

Donald didn't get the Peace Prize, but he can still get the Nobel Prize in Economic Sciences. Nobody else has brought drug prices down 1,500%, saved the economy and the world with tariffs, while being muscular & sexy with perfect cognitive abilities.

#NobelPrize

I'm not buying shit until the price comes down 1,500%.

Antifa might be my first choice.

I want the Nobel Peace Prize to go to whoever would piss off magats the most. Taylor Swift, Kamala Harris, Hillary Clinton, Bad Bunny, Adam Schiff, Saturday Night Live? Who else would be good?

#NobelPeacePrize

Counter point: Reading stuff is for nerds. U-S-A! U-S-A!

#NobelPeacePrize

Halloween costume ideas. You're welcome.

#Halloween

I just got my 2025 Covid vaccine.

Long story short, now I have autism. And cancer.

Thanks Obama.

The only war in Portland is the price war between Trader Joe's and Whole Foods on organic avocados.

#Portland

I've decided to teach a class at Liberty University.

It's ENG 101 Apostrophes: How do They Work

"We need to stay in our lane, and our lane is investigating Hunter Biden's laptop."

"Oops! I just craptured my pants. "

Is there a specific word for when white people, often men, intentionally mispronounce a black person's name? Like when people learned how to pronounce "Kamala" and then continued to act like they couldn't say it or didn't know how to say it.

Hmm, maybe I am a radical leftist.

Leftist ideology: equality, acceptance, kindness, fairness, due process, the rule of law, equal protection under the law, facts (e.g., science, medicine, history), democracy, education, anti-discrimination, anti-fascism.

What else goes under leftist ideology?

Charlie Kirk died like a dog.

What? I'm talking about one of Kristy Noem's dogs.

#CharlieKirk

"Out of context" is the latest and dumbest right wing talking point.

The only thing Charlie and Jesus had in common was that they were both holey.

#CharlieKirk
#Jesus

Conservatives aren’t known for their humor; however, I’ve got to give it to them this time. "I am Charlie Kirk" is funny AF.

#CharlieKirk

We'll know when it happens.

Well, Florida is a much bigger state, so it needs a bigger back to school-shooting sales tax holiday.

I agree with you. I just dont see it ever actually happening.

Hmmmm. Need more time and maybe a few more shootings to really form a conclusion on this.

For Charlie