i didn’t realize leaving neverland was removed from HBO, im so disappointed and appalled

great point sir

i love wearing my jeans fresh out of the laundry. love being unable to sit squat or walk for a minimum of six hours

it’s a great day for transphobes to eat shit

i have to say. nobody i really feel like i can ‘trust’ dares me

i don’t read parentheses so thanks for the first sentence 👍

do you guys dare me to test this out tonight

for the record: two hours early, domestic

ALSO TODAY: we have unlocked five posts for you to read and share widely!! Or subscribe and read our whole dang site for just $3/month! flaminghydra.com/free/

Horror show Sarah Weinman recommends a place to not go in New York this weekend, or ever

TODAY: @sarahweinman.com gives her strongest possible non-recommendation for a new “immersive” serial killer exhibit in Manhattan. “Every shred of sensitivity and care disappeared in the next space, which was devoted to Jeffrey Dahmer.” flaminghydra.com/r/4fea2912?m...

sam elliott…i said yes MA’AM

AY NEW ZEALANDERS!!!!! one of my private students is a very talented new zealand writer and i’d love to set him up with a local author or publishing worker who can talk him through the business in NZ. dm me on here if you’d like to be connected with a protégé of mine who i’m very fond of!!

of course, the one SO common i straight up forgot it lol

i will not know that.

one thing i will simply never do is accept that there are other time zones

you can tell the people writing these jokes all picked em up in the same places because it’s always the same few jokes:
1) porn actors sure are prolific!
2) ‘somebody’s daughter’
3) shitty wordplay that they think sounds like a sex work nom de guerre
4) half assed porn parody title

AY NEW ZEALANDERS!!!!! one of my private students is a very talented new zealand writer and i’d love to set him up with a local author or publishing worker who can talk him through the business in NZ. dm me on here if you’d like to be connected with a protégé of mine who i’m very fond of!!

thank you for remembering this correctly

why would you do this lol

that’s right i got takes about a show that ended over a decade ago. i am provocative

the fact that the porn actress on parks & rec is always SO kind and supportive to leslie who gives her nothing but disdain in turn…not sure that’s making the point the writers think it’s making lol

i extremely don’t understand this. like you’re not the one collecting the profits off the liquor markup babe the tips are the same why the hell do you care

they didn’t even tell you the best part: the pasta sauce tastes really bad!

not because things will definitely work out okay but because you will behave differently if you can convince yourself they will! you will be more effective and more decent!

i truly don’t mean to be snide with this remark but if you feel this way you might as well commit to being an optimist as best you can

Infowars/Onion combo logo in rainbow saying “I support the onion’s hostile media takeover.”

It’s finally happened. After 18 months. Finally, a media merger you can root for.

i got one of these once and the outfit receiving my expense report tried very passive aggressively to convince me to just eat the $8 charge. and listen not to brag but i do have $8. but come on. fuck you

is this enough layers of quoted text for you piggies. oink oink

‘it’s not the fucking babadook’ well right because the babadook is just a made up person. the slimeball voice that lives in your computer and tells your kid the right way to tie a noose is unfortunately very real

i think my question still very much stands