the heart is drained and empty

nobody wants to be associated with me really, and if i leave comments ill be embarassing themby associating with me or im just saying weird and inappropriate things they dont like bc im a pervert

making a post or sharing art its like. nobodys going to comment on it anymore pretty much no matter what it is. you might get a couple brief comments. but i really want to hear your actual thoughts. this feels hypocritical though bc i dont exactly leave a ton of comments myself. i worry that

i couldnt agree more with that just. wanting comments post. wanting to hear peoples ideas and preferences or if my drawing made you think of something what was it? it feels like that never happens anymore, andit used to be what made posting fun. i could care less about the reposts or likes.

i never feel happy or get that obsessed feeling anymore . it used to be like a current ripped through my body, not my own hand but god's.
but ive been alone for. along time now. its been years

just write and draw the stuff that makes you happy. the stuff that gives you that obsessed feeling. indulge yourself, bro. I mean it. go OFF. use those favourite and familiar tropes, archetypes, designs, who cares? if it gets you creating, that's all that matters, because that's a special thing

honestly this is such a long discussion i could go on for hours about LOL but tl;dr of it is numbers are nice, but it's not what i want. i want people to talk to, people to bounce ideas off of, people to share enthusiasm with. which is why i often appreciate comments more than likes

i guess it was a year ago since i used this shit, i actually got another twitter account i used for browsing suspended bc i made a suicide joke so

Hiii