God in Heaven please convince my boyfriend to allow me to speed run Sonic Adventure 2 for his nephew

i wanna underage drink again so bad

raise your yaaaaa ya ya

Same‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ Liars facilitate Worship of XENOPHOBIA&GREED. THROUGH PC CULTURE & FCC THAT ISOLATE US IN SILENT BUBBLES OF SUFFERING.👼🏼 🌎ÀHO🌐 BIB‼️ SMIB‼️ PBW/Y‼️ AM(ÈEI)N‼️ TRUST Gaia&USAs-Constitution&Jesús‼️ Pillars to YWHW&JEHOVAH-IN-JESUS-CHRIST&ALLAH‼️‼️ 🗡🧑🏽‍💻🛡🧠🗺🫖🌺🐝🎼⚛️❤️‍🔥✡️🌟🦁✝️☪️🐦‍🔥🕉️🎭🪬🏳️‍🌈⚖️🩵🌊🗽🪃🧲

*practicing mindful therapy speak* I’m really enjoying this movie you’ve put on. Thanks for organizing this for us. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to show you a clip of Dennis Miller on my phone. I’m going to pause the movie. It’s scaring me a bit, and I know my interests will soothe me. Thoughts?

cheers to the beginning of something new. cheers to our devices, for they will inherit us. boyfriend just texted me that we’re getting happy hour mussels tonight and i’m prancing like a well fed dog. it’s going to be a good week.

that being said, now more than ever, we need to look to the future. i’m grateful for my iPhone 11, but i need to appreciate it’s upgraded new sibling. thanks to Apple’s data transfer features… it’s like it’s still with me. but now it’s sleeker, faster, and everything I do is fed through AI

it makes me sad to move on to a new phone. my iPhone 11 pro holds so many memories… the first photos of my cats, the beginning of my relationship, hell, I even started listening to Boz Scaggs on that phone.

got a new phone. iPhone 17… 17 iterations of the world’s most transformative device. i can’t help but reminisce.

Starting playing Animal Crossing again (I’m evil). That camel chick showed up in my town or whatever, she sells you like random rugs and shit. I spend 3 grand on a random rug, open up my inventory to see “yellow vinyl sheet” legit hate these stupid baby games want to blow my head off

Babe I can’t talk i’m spinning baddies on roblox babe. Babe not right now i’m spinning dice to unlock different rarities of baddies to get rich. Babe i won’t go to bed until I get the Solar Mythical YandereBaddie. She’ll make me 3 million dollars a second

The Guy Dancing then Being Chased by a ton of Lions

I won’t lie i changed my profile picture to the spyro turtle and thats why im online because i like seeing him next to my posts hes so cute bah bah bah bah lol

Screenshot of the weather app and it says Rain starting in 23 min lasting for 23 min

23 rains for 23 minutes

Keep instagram off my ipad

An NYC diner owner not knowing that people just want to see photos of his crispy hash browns instead of AI bullshit is like an intergalactic princess who’s gown is made of the cosmos not seeing that she is beautiful

Can’t watch to watch Cindy Swinky in Zootopia season 3

A very normal looking middle aged woman.

The same middle aged woman, but now it looks like she’s wearing someone else’s face. She’s had an egregious facelift

It’s one of the best recent reality shows i’ve seen. She looks so crazy. She’s very obviously trying to look like her now famous daughter. Cast members are actively getting arrested. Mothers look terrible. The producers of this show are the luckiest people on the planet

Been watching Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, just started season 2. As soon as it was revealed that one of the cast member’s evil mothers got a disgusting facelift my friends and I jumped out of our seats and into a freeze frame and “More Than A Feeling” by Boston played

Hi

Woke up open instagram i see girl who has a oc that dates glenn quagmire announcing shes pregnant with his baby i open my curtains and its a beautiful morning

conversation's over and you're still going "heyyy". like, yes, hi? what do you want? it's done. get over it.

i understand writing a cute little quip or "enjoy!" on the coffee cup when someone places the order in advance and doesn't show face to the barista, but i just got a coffee and was chatting to the barista and they still wrote "Hello :)" on my cup. you've just made it weird now.

Pay Rent & Earn Points

Watching two movies in a day damn they should call me Jacob Two Movies

You’re both acting like no one’s said this before

I’d rather have a maddening beer 🤪 🍺

Local Burrito Boyz is the most awarded restaurant I have ever seen

I meant cheetos