ok today it was a whole ass bald eagle, i hope that one's not bad

i'm at a film festival

(cuz i'm CLASSY)

and honestly the ones that are dogshit are fun too? i'm having at least as much fun hating on the bad ones (looking at you Los Animas) as i am celebrating the good ones

#mkefilm

i wonder who the contemporary Tiny Tim is. maybe k. flay

lol. lmao, even.

www.invisibleoranges.com/slayers-fina...

A white shed with the words “FUCK SHED” and a large hog painted on it. Seems suspicious but it also says “w/bar” so might as well stop

🎶You see a faded sign at the turn of the bend
It says fifteen miles to the …🎶

damn if they ever do figure out a shrink ray i have the #1 guaranteed to make your money back job for it:

resizing clothes

2001 by Dr. Dre on vinyl with the corner of Total Party Kill visible behind it

listening to the Camper Van Beethoven version of Tusk (i've never heard the Fleetwood Mac version)

happy record store day y'all

(actually i just bought 2001)

also saw a rad show at the x-ray arcade, got cold approached by a nice woman, didn't die in a tornado, and got waved off a flooded intersection by an awesome old dude in a battle vest.

Thanks cranes!!

sweet just won concert tickets

three cranes flew right over my car this morning on the way to work? wonder if that means anything

Ok apparently the only person to actually die during the storms was a single trucker who got struck by lightning at a Kwik Trip

RICKSHAW BILLIE’S BURGER PATROL W/ AMERICAN SHARKS & PINK FUZZ — Falcon Bowl

nice

www.falconbowlmke.com/events/ricks...

The Strip Club, a photo boothery

finally found a strip club i'm interested in going to

*Ice T voice*

damn Art Brut hasn't played here in 17 years? now i don't feel so bad about the $40 ticket lol

Chicago is da best 😁

(coalfire has wild ramp 'nduja pizza again)

oh no they just did an emergency alert about baseball sized hail and said people and animals outside WILL be injured

i hope the cows next door to my work can get in the barn 🙁

Incredible sequel. Edge of my seat!

at least only a few tornadoes will be intense, had me worried there for a sec

damn they really goosed the numbers

tv show idea: man vs. wild, but it's boomers vs microsoft excel

(same narration though)

shelved 90s Butthole Surfer album dropping June 26th?

hell yeah hot butthole summer here i come

a can of red bull EXTRA

bro asia is so far ahead of us it's scary

I’ve been thinking about this guy almost daily for ten fucking years. essentially my entire 30’s. when he finally croaks I imagine I’ll let out a sigh so deep it realigns my fucking spine

my work may be on fire? sure do wish local news still existed

damn that's crazy can't believe they had skateboards 100 years ago

This is gonna be worth something someday.

Wisconsin gubernatorial drag name idea: Francesca Hung

I Work Very Hard, And I Would Like To Try Cake By A Horse Hello. I am a horse. I work very hard at my job of being a horse. When humans say move the heavy thing, I move the heavy thing. When humans sit on top of me and pull on my head, I carry them where they want to go. The main food the humans give me is hay and oats. But I am thinking it would be nice to have a different food. I am thinking I would like to try cake. Yes, yes. Cake. I know all about it. When humans eat cake, it is in glad times. It is the food for a celebration, such as when a woman becomes 47. I have seen cake on the Fourth of July. When humans have a cake, they stand around it and clap hands and smile and say happy birthday at each other. Sometimes there are beautiful markings on a cake, such as balloons or a pink shape. Sometimes the top of a cake is on fire and a boy must blow on the fire with mouth wind. This is the scariest cake. I do not want this kind. But I will eat any other cake. Any cake that is not the fire cake that tries to kill the boy. Please understand: I do not get money for doing work. I do not get to go inside the house. All I am either doing my horse job or standing in my pen or eating food off the floor. I always do these things. But I have never once gotten cake and I would like it very much. I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children. I am more helpful to the farm. Children do not move the heavy things like me or let anyone ride on them. And yet they get cake. Maybe the humans will realize this. Maybe they will say, "You know who deserves cake? That horse. That horse whose back we are always on." Every day I dream about what it will be like if I get to eat cake. Here is what will happen. First, I will walk to the cake and putt my nose at it like hrrfff to make and stomping my hooves to make sure it is not a snake. Then I will trot in a circle to show that I am a horse and I am large. After that, I will nuzzle the cake to …

The horse op-ed is an instant classic. I can't tell you how much joy this piece gives me.

It should be taught in every introductory writing class in no small part because the horse arguments are so compelling. "I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children."

how did i fuck up texting my ex about their grandparent passing, you ask?

with flying fucking colors