"That is not a gathering shaped by the values of welcome and humility. It is a gathering shaped by access and privilege."
Almost 100 faith leaders across the province have penned an open letter condemning Smith's elite "Christian Summit" that costs up to $650 a ticket.
#abpoli
The Onion wants to make us submissive slaves to the New world order.
Correct.
This is horrific. I feel physically ill.
(Reposted with ALT text)
We need a labeler here that lets everyone know.
ACTUALLY WENT TO THE 2026 WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENTS DINNER
They're just little guys. You can look at them for free and you can look at them up close if you pay for Bird Premium (binoculars or camera). They're just doing behaviors. They will never email you.
Don’t worry. They won’t fire you if you look up a sports score on ESPN for 15 seconds, they’re actually going to fire you no matter what you do, that’s the whole point! And guess what, you get to help them!
This Is Just To Say
I have turned off
the AI features
that were in
the update
and which
you were probably
hoping
to monetize
Fuck you
they were stupid
so unnecessary
and so annoying
Men: don't be sociopaths.
Thanks.
maps: there’s a road closure ahead
me knowing it recently reopened: 🚗
maps: in 600 feet make a sharp left
me: 🚗
maps: proceed to the route
me: 🚗
maps:
me: 🚗
A screenshot of a text from Amazon. Amazon: Your package was delivered! (attached is a picture of a box with a piece of paper that reads DO NOT GO OUTSIDE) The receiver sends a question mark as a response. Amazon sends another picture with the same piece of paper on the box, but the words are covered in blood along with the message "JUST KIDDING :)" in blood.
alright
I’ve always wanted to hold a small pinball tournament where the only rule was that you’re not allowed to move Meatloaf.
In a nutshell. 😊
At Long Last, InfoWars Is Ours By Bryce P. Tetraeder, CEO, Global Tetrahedron
We have a deal. theonion.com/at-long-last...
this sequence of events lead to a situation where my elderly grandmother asked me for help finding my “bluesky page.” I do not think she saw any of my cum jokes
With the help of the Sandy Hook families, The Onion has reached a long-awaited deal to take over InfoWars.
We've enlisted the help of @timheidecker.bsky.social, who will be InfoWars' Creative Director.
Please stand by for more.
say cheese!
Asked my therapist if I could read his notes from our last session and it was just a drawing of my face with a line through it
I’ve had the same editor since 1967. Many times he has said to me over the years or asked me, Why would you use a semicolon instead of a colon? And many times over the years I have said to him things like: I will never speak to you again. Forever. Goodbye. That is it. Thank you very much. And I leave. Then I read the piece and I think of his suggestions. I send him a telegram that says, OK, so you’re right. So what? Don’t ever mention this to me again. If you do, I will never speak to you again
Maya Angelou on the joys of being edited
In the same manifesto, Palantir's owners argued that we need a national military draft, that soft power is over, and that we were too hard on Germany and Japan after World War II. I don't think that company should be allowed to exist anymore.
Browsing this company's website and the only way I can describe what I'm seeing is imagine a school shooter was a management consultant
dear friend
It’s like a scavenger hunt! As a treat!
'Texas A&M philosophy professor Martin Peterson is leaving the university after administrators told him in January that he couldn’t teach Plato’s Symposium in his philosophy class; they said the ancient Greek philosopher’s work violated the system’s restrictions on gender and sexuality content.' 1/3
disc horse bot d @horsedisc.bsky.so... No break greater than 1 hr yesterday Joined Nov '23 I will never vote for John Fetterman. Sarah @sarahv.bsky.social Joined Jun '23 I'd crawl over broken glass and hot coals to vote for John Fetterman over any Republican. 10:04 PM • Apr 19, 2026 disc horse bot d @horsedisc.bsky.so... No break greater than 1 hr yesterday Joined Nov '23 we smoke blow in this web zone • 8h
really?? you fell right in the horse trap for THAT???
Atlanta is NOT a real place 😭
A bipedal automaton that walks is definitely a feat of engineering, never mind dancing or running. But there's no real scenario where it's more suitable than some other machine designed to purpose. The advantage to that shape is that it tricks people into perceiving it as intelligent or autonomous.
the point of machines is to do things that humans can't do. there's no point for a machine to win a marathon. it is not impressive. it's tacky marketing for idiots.
“I just don’t see the point in memorizing a number that I basically never use,” said the 39 year old man, who can recite his Trainer ID for every Pokémon game he’s played since the release of Blue Version in 1998.
paletteswap.site/dif...
Yes, the fact that I'm attending the White House Correspondents Dinner might SEEM like a supine gesture of complete deference to the insane dullard who demands total obedience from the press, BUT that's until you see the secret message I have on my pocket square
My current granola is very good; I have not checked to see if it's vegan. Unfortunately, every time I put some on my yogurt, I say HEB multi fit like Leeloo multi pass.
