First time making these, but I'm no stranger to a block of cream cheese

God damn these are good lol

The kitchen counter has two wooden cutting boards of different sizes on it. Large board has four pieces of bread, two with mayo, and two with cream cheese on them. The smaller board has a cucumber and a large kitchen knife, and a small pile of slices have been chopped off the cucumber

The completed cucumber sandwiches on the large cutting board, two sandwiches cut into fourths, and the crusts cut off

Made some cucumber sandwiches today

Black cat on a bed

Still massively unemployed, cabinets bare, and recovering from surgery with an urgent need to put together $400 for rent
EleanorIsWeird on venmo and cash app; anything helps. Thank you

For the first time since hospitalization I went for a walk, about a half mile. My thighs are burning, but its a lovely day and a woman on the street literally shouted at me about how beautiful I am, so yeah that went okay.

Black cat on a bed

Still massively unemployed, cabinets bare, and recovering from surgery with an urgent need to put together $400 for rent
EleanorIsWeird on venmo and cash app; anything helps. Thank you

I think its better to wake up feeling like shit. You wake up feeling good? Day can only go down hill from there

Getting closer to the divine feminine with every marked-for-clearance gas station shrimp cocktail I eat by the dumpster

Nothing makes a better treat on a warm day than piping hot brown gravy

Whole honey-roasted ham with some slices cut off on a platter with the words "Happy Birthday, Ham!" over top of it

The rzn 4 the szn

Half of a toasted bagel with cream cheese, on top three runny eggs that when I saw it reminded me of a bokoblin from Legend of Zelda, so I tried putting a bokoblin face on my eggs but I couldn't find a good picture so I used emojis and the end result leaves me in a state of disquiet

Why did I do this

Flo from Progressive tempted me in the Garden of Gethsemane

They're on my side?!

Dawned on me that today would have been my 20th wedding anniversary. I mean, it was over in less than a year, but damn I'm old af
While things didn't work out, I was given the lifetime gift of being a divorcée, and no one can ever take that away from me

I found a piece of notebook paper on the ground, and on it someone had written
"Got a bad cut and had to go to the candy & sex clinic to get it treated. They closed the wound up with caramel sutures"

Eating olives with chopsticks... before now if I'd seen someone doing that I'd be like okay settle down buddy

Thank yooou! 💜💜💜

I sure do like olives

Corn is butter-flavored pomegranate

Because of me my 26 y/o roomie is listening to "The Heat is On" by Glenn Frey

WHAT... is your name?
WHAT... is your social security number?
WHAT... is your mother's maiden name, street you grew up on, and first pet's name?

🍻 FREE BEER!! 🍻

Now that I have your attention you must answer me these riddles three

Black cat lounging on a blanket not a care in the world

He's my special boy

Christ I hope no one catches me listening to Blues Traveler