Some authors/artists don't place themselves onto the stuff they create specifically because they don't want their being to be projected onto anywhere, and I'm that kind of artist

once you start accusing that I'm this or that because I drew a trope. the first impulse i have is to want to kill you

So outsiders who don't fathom the relationship dynamics I WRITE IN FICTION and not know my taste IN FICTION would start sexualizing ME by constructing their assumption on what rocks my socks off and it feels so dehumanizing that I just want to shoot everyone off my lawn 💀

The main reason why I stopped posting any more rokuitsu and plantcest stuff is because randos would just take my artworks and upload them on other places that I have no moderation control over

How am I not dead from work yet, incredible

Survived Saturday last minute deadlines 😭

I just got off an evening meeting man what do you mean my two other jobs just gave me new deadlines due Saturday afternoon IT'S MIDNIGHT NOW???

It's gotten to the point I'm chewing my meds in between to keep me awake CRAZY

When will it be May already 😭😭😭😭😭 my workload is crazy 😭😭😭 I'm only sleeping 2-4 hours daily

I feel like trying to be creative while having Bipolar 1 is such a test of mental fortitude, yeah sure you'd get long periods of manic surges and you start thinking you can make so many things but the downside to that you're just stuck with piles of scrapped ideas/sketches etc once the high is gone

The times when I have a psychotic break, it's always tied to me not being able to achieve the borderline impossible expectation I set for myself, I don't want to be seen when I've failed so I get this intense need to be on high places so I don't have to look at people in the eye

Like I know I'm annoying I am aware I'm annoying and a yapper so I've mostly kept to myself because I get long periods of both mania and hypomania, sometimes anxious and paranoid as hell

Impulsive too, it's why I have horrendous spending habits

So I end up with mountains of sketches and drafts and then incessantly media consumption for weeks to no end before I switch to a hypomanic state where I feel like I need to cease and die ksmdkdndkenw

I feel so embarrassed whenever I'm on a manic episode because I can never shut up, I post constantly and my brain switches channels on the go, I don't even have adhd, I'm just bipolar as fuck but instead of ruining someone else I just think I can make doujins in lightning speed

Shishikuno... pacman boya.... so moe...........

I remember Phantom Busters and got attacked by cute aggression, it's currently up until vol 7 iirc

It might be the most mid commercial IP game ever idc I want to see Rudo with his nail railgun with my own beady two eyes

In other news I started watching and reading Gachiakuta this week and I fell in love with the world building so much so I'm actually going to get the game once it releases

Everything tastes so metallic OH MY GOD CEASE ME ALREADY

I frew up so badly my stomach acid corroded my tongue I think my GERD is trying to make a comeback

But I guess even someone like me would still get their artworks scrapped into AI models 😅

Honestly even now I still kind of think that my artstyle is just, mediocre... Maybe... I don't really have as much confidence as I used to, nowadays I just doodle mindlessly...

I think it's mostly because I was suffering from imposter syndrome and felt that my artstyle wasn't good enough to draw the characters out, I was pretty rough on myself 😭😭😭 maybe this year I'll be more forgiving and give an attempt anyways

6 years waiting after season 1...

Ykw I actually had more fanarts of Dai Dark than I do Dorohedoro for some reason

Of course it's quite difficult to adapt the manga's paneling but I think Mappa did their best, I really like the sequences they gave Shin and the Risu vs Dokuga scene was quite short but I like it

Dorohedoro Season 2 first 3 episode started great I'm so happy 😭😭😭😭

Anyways I've been posting about my favorite fictional characters for over 5 hours straight since I woke up, I haven't eaten anything and didn't finish a single work task, I'm going through another manic episodeeeeeee

I wanna make RBJyuji standee but idk what concept to do...

In my humble opinion, Caldwell IS Mika's biological father. Her mom just married a silver fox LMAO
But Mika isn't aware of a lot of things concerning her father because she wasn't allowed to (as evident in the game where she has no idea what Millennion & Harry wants from her or Big Daddy's legacy)

So when Maria sent Mika off to Dr. T for safety, she's already acquainted to Dr. T but not with Grave. She meets Grave for the first time and she's curious of what his relationship with her mother was.

Because in the game Mika is aware of Dr. T because Maria considered him as one of her caretakers... The artbook established that Dr. T does have a twin brother who works as the Asagi family butler. So I think the twins were heavily involved with the Asagi household