Oh god I think I’m 1 for 5 at this point 😢

Staring at the “ARE YOU SAFE AT HOME” leaflet in 4 languages on the door at my gynecologist while they blast “Push” by Matchbox 20 is a weird feeling.

This rules actually

Omg you’re right 🙈

a person wearing a helmet with the words hey who turned out the lights Alt: From Doctor Who, episode The Silence in the Library: An astronaut in a spacesuit asks, “Hey, who turned out the lights?” (This dialogue repeats as the astronaut has been killed by the Vashta Nerada and the line is a final echo.)

I’d pull a “who turned out the lights? Who turned out the lights?” But I’d even freak myself out.

The meme where two astronauts are on the moon with one pointing a pistol at the other's back as the first astronaut gazes off at the earth. The first astronaut is captioned "Wait the moon isn't haunted?" The second astronaut is captioned "It is now"

those horrible we like tha moon guys. i’m really dating myself with this one

my whole feed today

A tweet from HBO Max: The bread boy has risen! Hashtag OFMD”

Tumblr heritage post: I need feminism because when Jesus does a magic trick it’s a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake. Response: I mean they also did kill Jesus. That was a pretty significant thing that happened. Like I understand where you’re coming from here but they very much did kill Jesus.

Obligatory Holy Week post

So, so good

That’s fair! I only heard the news so didn’t witness any of the fallout!

Maybe a CW is needed my b🤭. I was just thinking if it was very sharp! No injury required!

A meme of a pencil-drawn nondescript person holding a stick poking the seal of the United States Congress. Person is saying, “C’mon, do something…”

Everyone celebrating Pam Bondi’s firing is ignoring that it was bc she didn’t go after Trump’s enemies hard enough and he is going to appoint someone worse whom congress will immediately confirm... Can we not do victory laps

Awwww beautiful, congrats

Maybe one of their nipple barbells punctures it and he thinks Stede’s finished early

Happy happy bday!! 🥳

Please enjoy my kid’s commentary and yes I do have childhood Challenger trauma

TRENDING: CHALLENGER TRAUMA

LMAO THERE COULD BE NO CLEARER INDICATOR THAT BLUESKY IS FOR OLD PEOPLE

Remember to take your blood pressure meds today, peepaws and meemaws

Right??? Also it was genuinely heartwarming to see them watching from so far away; like it’s been so long since America did anything that wasn’t completely embarrassing on the world stage. 🥲

When you think about it, the moon is just Earth’s pet rock

Is D. John Sauer’s voice actually a psyop to make it impossible to listen to SCOTUS arguments? 😩 We should have televised nightly celebrity reenactments like we did for that Michael Jackson trial.

Biff Tannen's Pleasure Paradise high-rise hotel and museum and casino from Back to the Future 2.

A gaudy Vegas-like entryway at the Biff Tannen Pleasure Paradise casino from Back to the Future 2.

I found some conceptual drawings

So relatable for both

Being American in 2026 🥲

Shit, it’s not even Tuesday, I’m sorry I just realized this 😅😩

Terrible, thanks for asking! 😭
Family members sick and injured! I’m now a fulltime teacher but don’t get paid! Had to cancel my friend vacation! Plumbing issues in my house! I don’t wanna be Debbie downer but I could use a silver lining somewhere. But I did miss seeing you around the interwebs!

People don’t know sand holes can happen (often from kids digging a big hole and the tide covering over it. It can be scary!

Wish I’d seen this during the auction, is there any way to buy one now? My kiddo is obsessed with string worms!

Congrats!!! You deserve it!