I need a eunuch advisor to glower at and say "My patience wears thin" whenever I'm in a bad mood

The risk officer where I work used ai to generate the email blast she sent out about a bunch of people getting laid off

trash jones @jzux i should be able to put my phone on Please Disturb mode so my friends know I want attention

If I was making a show satirizing the far right who are too stupid to understand satire and I’d accidentally given them a racist Superman id simply have stopped in 2023

I live here and I sound like this, thanks for finally just telling them our truth

Anyway fuck the fucking nfl draft and all the out of town people and the suburban whiners ( oh my god I saw a poor person!!) type shit. Put this crap in Las Vegas every year and be done with it

When they have an nfl draft in your city they close all the schools for a week and then send all their street cops (who cry that they’re understaffed) to bang on the heads of these kids when they go out at night. No money for more after school programming or third places for the kids to go though.

Okay okay here it is

drew an egg

Auto shop only has hours until 2pm so I can’t pick it up until tomorrow. Can’t even hate, I’m jealous of a place with 8-2 hours

Fuck any and all drafts

They killed the water car guy. They either did it at the behest of big oil or because they could see the water wars coming already without that

Inglorious bastards meme about how to signal for three

Seeing someone with no location marker type “whilst”

28 Years Later: The Bone Temple (2026, dir. Nia DaCosta)

A computer can never pack a bowl therefore a computer must never make a playlist

Hit the cart and now I’m eating some kinda soy jerky and playing 2077.

i truly don’t mean to be snide with this remark but if you feel this way you might as well commit to being an optimist as best you can

Brass snail

Brass snail mesuring tape

The best thing ive ever found in a garadge sale, a snail that is also a mesuring tape

Mfer really is a lesson in enjoying your job

Carcetti in season 3 Wire just gives every woman the Kubrick stare

Still so hype for your show in town in June. Trying to put together an outfit.

Every gay friend group

Man if they ever made a non-live-service version of the Destiny series I’d pick it up. Just story with no filler or garbage.

I don’t think congress should vote on things at 3am, personally

Corey O'Connor glazed by WaPo: "The move toward center-left with a campaign focused less on social justice tropes and more on fiscal issues shows why O'Connor one, said a guy who went to the same college as O'Connor, who somehow also concludes moving to the center is a lesson for national Dems.

The goose chase meme

He "focused less on social justice tropes" than Pittsburgh's first Black mayor? Hmmmmmmmmmmmm

Did cowboys wipe their asses? With what