A photo of eight ballpoint pens on a pad of paper. They're all click top ones rather than the classic biro with a lid. All in shades of grey, silver and mostly black.

Well met folks on duodi 2 Floréal in the year of the Republic CCXXXIV. Doubtless we're all hard at work, probably slaving over a computer. But remember the days when you had to take pen to paper? As someone who finds ink pens hard work, praise be to the humble ballpoint or biro.

A photo of a Moog modular synthesiser. It's a particularly impressive example, being a keyboard attached to a bank of dials, knobs and input jacks. Yes, it does appear more at home at NASA Mission Control than on a stage with a pop group. The case and frame is darkish wood, giving it the look of a piece of furniture from the 1970s. To add to the overall unworldly feeling, the Moog is on a black background, so you could be forgiven for thinking it was floating in space.

Right then my friends. What a day it is, primidi 1 Floréal in the year of the Republic CCXXXIV. Floréal is the month of flowers, so I've decided we'll celebrate something unconnected to the natural world. Let's raise a cheer for the Moog synthesiser in all its squelchy glory. It's Mow, not Moo too.

A stock photo of someone about to apply some sunscreen. There's water in the background, it looks like the seaside. It's sunny. You can just see the arms and legs of the person. They're squeezing fluid into their hand from an unmarked white bottle with an orange top. I assume it's sunscreen as that's what I searched for, but hey, it could be anything.

Coo-ee there cobbers. We've come to the end of the month of germination on décadi 30 Germinal in the year of the Republic CCXXXIV. Now's the time to get the sunscreen out in preparation for the blazing hot days to come 🤔 Don't use too much though or you won't get any vitamin D.

A photo of three high visibility safety jackets, hi vis to you and me. They all have two reflective silver hoops round the middle, and similar stripes coming down from the shoulders. On the left is a bright yellow sleeveless jerkin. In the middle, an orange jacket. It has reflective hoops around the arms. On the right is a yellow and black jacket, chunkier looking than the orange one but otherwise much the same.

Dzien dobry everyone. It's nonidi 29 Germinal in the year of the Republic CCXXXIV. In a safety first mood today, so let's celebrate high visibility safety wear, more commonly known as hi-vis. Careful now.

That's a very good point.

Ooh, that's much more impressive.

A photo of the National Lift Testing Tower in Northampton. It's a huge concrete construction that dominates the skyline round there. There's blue skies and fluffy clouds around it. Lots of small windows on the tower near the bottom, less as you go further up. Do they just drop the lift from the top and see what it looks like after? No idea.

Would you believe it? We're still going on octidi 28 Germinal in the year of the Republic CCXXXIV. I was sure when I started this nonsense I'd have run out by now. At the beginning, we celebrated escalators. Seems only right we give thanks for lifts then. Here's the test tower in Northampton.

Douchebag Boyfriend Meme: he is walking holding a girl’s hand. Her head has been replaced by Agine De Poitrine’s drummer’s head. He is distracted by a woman in a red dress. Only her head is a Boards of Canada promo VHS tape.

Saw this and had to nick it.

A photo of a pot of Pot Noodle. Original curry flavour., so white top, yellowy gold body to presumably put you in mind of curry sauce. Add some boiling water, take a fork, put your guilt and pretensions to one side and dig in.

Afternoon all. Hope you're enjoying septidi 27 Germinal in the year of the Republic CCXXXIV. Feeling hungry? You should have had lunch by now, but if you're in a hurry or just lazy, have yourself a Pot Noodle. It's not good for you, it's not clever but it is tasty. You know it is, it really is.

A photo of a pair of common cranes, grus grus. They're in a grassy field at dawn or sunset on a high summer day. I say that because the grass is grey and dry and the background is a dull red. These are cranes in the UK, so it's probably in the Somerset Levels. They're big birds, standing about one metre high. Mostly grey white in colour, their wings and tails are darker, and they have red caps. This pair are courting, possibly. The one on the left is flapping their wings and bowing their head. The crane on the right is looking on rather unimpressed.

Yo ho there shipmates. It's sextidi 26 Germinal in the year of the Republic CCXXXIV. You may remember that back in Brumaire we celebrated construction cranes for their work building the modern world. Today it's the turn of the bird cranes, for no other reason than they look brilliant.

The Ascension Of Saint Rose Of Lima by Aubrey Beardsley. It's a pen and ink drawing in black, white and grey of two figures floating over a landscape. Saint Rose is presumably the one on the left in a white dress with very long hair and a beatific smile. The other figure is partially obscured by Saint Rose. They're holding Saint Rose. They're wearing a long flowing cloak and a strange crown that looks like a cross between a basilica and a winged helmet people used to think Vikings wore. The drawing is fantastically detailed and really quite wonderful. It's slightly let down by ghostly lettering at the top of the page. It seems this was the inner cover of the Savoy magazine.

Greetings. It's quintidi 25 Germinal in the year of the Republic CCXXXIV. We're celebrating an artist today, the short lived but fantastic Aubrey Beardsley. A warning if you're unfamiliar with his work, some of it's NSFW. You don't want Inspecting The Herald popping up when talking to the boss.

A series of photos illustrating the equipment for scuba diving. Starting top left we have WEIGHT, OCTO (that looks like the thing you breathe through), REGULATOR, MASK and SNORKEL. Middle row it's COMPASS INDICATES, BUOYANCY COMPENSATOR, WETSUIT, GLOVES and TANK. Bottom row, COMPASS (don't know what difference there is between compass and compass indicates), COMPUTER, GAUGE, BOOTS and finally FINS.

Bonjour tout le monde. It's quartidi 24 Germinal in the year of the Republic CCXXXIV. Not that I've ever tried scuba diving, but I know people who have and they say it's great. So let's celebrate scuba today.

Thirty to fifty feral hogs would solve so many problems right now

A head and shoulders photo of Yuri Gagarin, the first man in space. He's strapped into the capsule of Vostok I, reclined on an orange padded bench. He's wearing his spacesuit, including a white helmet with CCC in red on it. Presumably there's a red P just out of shot. I think this photo is from the launch pad not long before Yuri took off. His head must have been whirling, but his face has the expression of someone at peace.

Morning all. Let's be having you on tridi 23 Germinal in the year of the Republic CCXXXIV. We're going to celebrate that sixty five years ago today the first human to journey into outer space orbited the Earth in Vostok I. That'd be Colonel Gagarin, Yuri Alekseyevich.

a man in a captain america uniform is sitting in a room and saying `` i understand that reference . '' ALT: a man in a captain america uniform is sitting in a room and saying `` i understand that reference . ''

Possibly my most used GIF. I understood that reference-ah.

The National Health Service's NHS logo. Three blue letters on a white background with a blue field around it.

Good afternoon mes amigx on duodi 22 Germinal in the year of the Republic CCXXXIV. To get mildly serious for a moment, I'm going to suggest we celebrate the National Health Service. Yes, it has its issues and it's not perfect by a long stretch, but it's the best system there is right now.

Going to start a rumour that Angine De Poitrine are Godspeed You! Black Emperor pissing about.

Pass it on.

A photo of a hedgehog going about its business snuffling around the undergrowth. Spiky little chap, grey brown in colour, pointy little face, bright black eyes. Very much just happy to be here.

Would you believe it? Today is primidi 21 Germinal in the year of the Republic CCXXXIV. Earlier this month we celebrated the Sega Megadrive with its famous game, Sonic the Hedgehog. Well then, it's only right we celebrate actual hedgehogs. They need help too.

www.britishhedgehogs.org.uk

A picture of the cover of Stray Toasters. It was a very peculiar graphic novel, not really about toasters, but then again it wasn't really about anything. Quite mind blowing as I recall. The drawing is of a basic silver two slice toaster on a reflective metal surface. There is a plug flex trailing away. Black smoke is coming out of the toaster. There's an unhealthy pink glow about the picture. Almost the last thing you see is a face either on or reflected in the toaster. It doesn't look friendly. The text on the cover is in a strange, spiky looking font. It reads as follows. BETWEEN THE KITCHEN AND THE SUBCONSCIOUS LURK THE STRAY TOASTERS FOUR ISSUES OF OBSESSION BY BILL SIENKIEWICZ ARRIVING IN SEPTEMBER MONTHLY FROM EPIC

Cheery waves, comrades. It's décadi 20 Germinal in the year of the Republic CCXXXIV. I should have done this earlier, since toast is usually associated with breakfast. But why deny yourself? Pop a slice of bread in the toaster and celebrate the device. Make sure it's not a Stray Toaster though😖

I believe Matt Johnson went over to covid conspiracy theory territory. I'd be very happy to be wrong about that however.

Ah. I can only recall The Farmers' Boys. I might even have the single😯

Though this is perfect 🙂

That's pretty near perfect, isn't it?

I'm afraid my tolerance of XTC, or rather Andy Partridge, is pretty low. If only they had a less annoying goon as a singer.

Epic folk? Well alright then.

Good, apart from the burst of sax. Is it In The Country by The Farmers' Boys this is borrowed from?

Minimal and creepy, unusual for her. Very abrupt ending.

Goth metal? Nice. Wouldn't have thought that was up your street though.

Ah. Major label bis, not as good as DIY bis.

I like it, but I don't think I could take a lot of that voice.