Hey Google, play different music.

*Now playing Morrissey*

Oh god damn it.

I asked my daughter what her book crush was, and she responded with
“The Agrarian Revolution” since she’s reading Sapians.

Why does that sound the a The Hold Steady lyric?

Hell yeah Austin Grackles

El Caminoooooo

Pitch an unnecessary sequel

Core 2: The Moon.

People have gotten way to comfortable with the phrase cuck chair.

Second Episode
-I like her, can she by my teacher for real. (Yes more Jett Reno please)
-Ok what a betazoid
-Is this a love octagon?
-Dad they have coffee in the future?
-Who was Kirk?

And my favorite.
-Can we watch one more?

I started watching Star Trek Academy with my kid. She enjoys it so far.

Her comments with the first episode:
-Oh, she’s one of those girls
-Is this a love triangle? *Drama*
-Who is that? Dad explain
-Dad, I don’t need all the background

I don’t know why the San Deigo Gulls goalie being named Clang is funny, but it is.

Raise Hell Praise Dale!

Once again, I am asking for a block feature on Teams

Maybe, it was just kind of like “huh, thst happened”

Eye contact and all.

Um thank you?

A woman flashed me in the HEB check out line yesterday. While I was standing next to my wife.

Like how are you supposed to react to that? I’ve got a bag of dog food on my shoulder, I’m just like hanging out, and I look over and she pulled down tne zipper on the front of her dress and flashed me.

MST3K:The Movie (1996)

I took the DC Metro to a small theater in DuPont Circle, and it was amazing.

What’s this “And the rest crap”

A running game? In this Super Bowl?

This was the greatest half time show of all time.

This, then Prince.

My wife every Super Bowl half time show.

“I don’t know who this person is, but I like them”

I was making a pot roast with root vegetables for my folks, but they got sick, and somehow this pot roast slow cooked for almost 18 hours.

Amazing, no words, dinner for days.

static.wikia.nocookie.net/memoryalpha/...

Five jobs I’ve had:
-Line Cook
-Restaurant Manager
-Video Games Tester
-Sys Admin
-Solutions Architect

Why the fuck is the Shamwow guy running for congress for my district?

So far we have :
Old man
Gun Girl
Indian dude
Shamwow guy

I used to weigh a very high number. Now I weigh a bit less than the high number, 20.

Anyway, it’s strange because to flabby part of me is becoming softer, and my skin is loose.

I’m just like “huh” that’s strange.

Honestly that Maryland Crab is just a warning to other drivers.

Whatever happened to Nerdcore?

Hey shout out to H-E-B for putting zero sugar Ginger ale on sale this week. Like it’s all my wife as been able to drink while she was down with the flu.

Pro tip kids, don’t discuss layoffs in the common area of a shared workspace.

“We’ve got the lists, I’ll send them to HR, they’ll be notified by the end of the week”

No, I don’t know the company name.

Every damn year.

Hello, I’m a massiven leg injury from a Mongolian manhole cover