if your circle isn't discussing bike repair, getting into chess, planning pool nights, and helping someone steal the popular girl's girlfriend, you need to rethink your whole network

this bar rules it's like a five minute walk from my place, when I get a better couch for crashing you should totally go to one

it's extremely important to impulsively go to dyke night on a work night and to get possessed by a crunchy spirit who makes you drink an IPA and enjoy it

i'm happy to see the onion take over infowars. i've been a big fan of the onion for quite a long time and it's given me plenty of laughs over the years. and as for infowars, i really disliked alex jones and disagreed with him on a whole lot of things. so to me, this whole situation is a win-win

I'm combatting this by making homemade nutrition paste

there's this really good documentary on netflix

wow, so weird how there are always just enough democrats to make sure republicans get what they want

BLUESKY IS A WEBSITE THAT TURNS (post by jay.bsky.team claiming that bluesky is made with AI) INTO (picture of bluesky not working)

men walk in public like they aren't corporeal beings

Poor Sleep Linked To Gong Instrument’s Loud, Resonant Crash Can Be Disruptive

Poor Sleep Linked To Gong https://theonion.com/poor-sleep-linked-to-gong/

silence innumerate masses, a self proclaimed Marxist is posting whatever the fuck

you shouldn’t learn about bands from shady TikTok manipulation, you should learn about bands by hanging out with a girl you like but are also extremely afraid of

the nl cruise is soooo crazy honestly if I had the cash I'd go just to say I was there

northernlion cruise sounds like heaven for straight tgirls just twirl your hair and go "yeah that obama impression is really spot on" with the most vocal fry you can muster and you're leaving with a husband and a combined $5k in the hole that's the kind of setup most couples in the 00s would die for

you've done it again

53 year olds love to ask if you know what a cd is

tyyyy I love pink :)

new hair yay also apparently the cosmo school gals fried my hair last time lol makes sense makes sense

I'm just a lone lithium ion floating through the great cosmic solvent looking to follow attractions wherever they may take me

girl who changes her opinion of solo poly after learning about organometallic complexes

easily one of the funniest guys america has had in decades

im moving on sunday and it's my first time driving a moving truck. i think im gonna pregame it, just to quell my nerves.

Hey if you're a young adult in the US pay very close attention to the moment because in shockingly few years the popular account of who did or said or supported what right now will be at times unrecognizable. Don't let that break your brain or just you, as a person.

A comic of two foxes, one of whom is blue, the other is green. In this one, Blue and Green are playing a board game with Blue's little brother. All three are studying the board keenly. Blue: If I go forward, I'll step into a trap. Blue continues studying the board as his little brother picks up another card. Blue: If I go back, I'll take the penalty. Blue frowns in frustration. Blue: Every time I move I take 5 damage. Blue and little blue look at Green, who is still studying the board. Green: And every time we kiss I swear I could fly.

I think I'm being vague enough with this one

my fav part of my job is getting cold called by attorneys of record

ATTENTION BRANDS!! the Lily Alexandre youtube channel is seeking an official seltzer sponsor. we’d prefer a fancy brand that has flavours like “orange vanilla” and “mangosteen” and costs $4 a can.

please retweet to share this with high-end seltzer brands in your circles

tweet from Imagine A Guy guy who only knew jesus professionally: Honey, did you hear they CRUCIFIED our CARPENTER???

1. "Here's an extreme idea. We're platforming it, so that people can watch out."
2. "This idea is gaining traction. We're publishing an op-ed in favour, for balance."
3. "This idea is popular now. Why does the left refuse to consider it?"