It’s like when you finally see down the barrel of a 777 and realize just how girthy they are

Oh No i backed up right at that moment

Selfie in a sauna with towel keeping me barely modest

POV view looking down at my lap

today’s the towel day, right?

I WAS JUST GONNA SAY THIS AND I THOUGHT ID BE FIRST UGH

I’ve been out-reply-guyed

your dog and me lol

oh this is SKILL

omg

best worded skeet of the day award

is your back ok??

mind if I come count the abs?

EXACTLY 😉

btw happy “stubborn-but-always-right asshole” season to all my fellow tauruses! 😍🐂♉️

I mean I could remove them and toss them for you if you want 🤷🏻‍♂️

oh mark, you silly silly sweet talking goose, youuuuuuu 🤭

Places, Mr Chad

put that smile as the spot of sugar in my tea

ok not to be the one earnest reply but this is friggin hilarious

I swear your smile lights up more rooms than the entire Texas power grid

caption contest ready go

the way I have the fattest crush on you and my fellow inner circlers 😍

what do you think I’ve been tryin to do since we became moots?!?!

so…..

I’m obsessed with the both of you if that means anything

come over

when my family asks what they should get me for my upcoming 40th

good fucking lord you’re pretty
jfc that profile
we don’t get that often and now I’m mad you’ve been depriving us 😮‍💨

ok calming down and going back to normal friend spagenny

that blueeeee