3am….the time the ‘good nap’ comes back to bite you

Don’t judge me😂

😂😂”sometimes”😂😂

Yes

It’s great that more women are leaning into this every day—women shouldn’t diminish themselves for anyone or anything. Anything less than a true partnership isn’t worth it

I shouldn’t even walk with scissors 🤷‍♂️

Be careful with the hanged man and all those sword cards

Can I chew the tourniquet or does it need to be swallowed whole?

The world will not be a better place with all these ignorant fucktards walking and driving around even more distracted, clueless and generally entitled

Well, even bester then

Fully capitalize his fumbling of the best thing that ever happened to him

Congratulations!! The best rest of your life starts now🍾🍾

😳 sweet bebe jeezus people are dumb

Who wouldn’t trade fries for you? Absolute no brainer

Praise be

Your soulmate wouldn’t share…..

…..they’d all be for you

The evening news

Take it you’ve arrived😉

Hope it’s the new, and permanent, normal

This would be round two, but she didn’t like living on campus, so bailed. No way to commute this time, the suck will be real

Where were you 14 hours ago??!!

Nice! Know exactly how you feel. Hoarding all the time I can get before she leaves in August

About time

Pepper is very wise

Little tequila in the coffee to start the day right

Miserable experience—but the ‘he’s going to be ok’ is the important part. Glad he’s doing well

😂😂I just…..😂😂

If reincarnation is real, maybe your moron coworker was a deer in their last life and you're getting a byproduct of being the headlights they're caught in

An enamel button that says Girl Dinner in purple font with a green praying mantis eating pieces of a different praying mantis, referencing the common fact that female mantis often eat their male counterparts...

Found the perfect button buried in my makeup drawer...

Probably debate club president before he dropped out of middle school

Hope your brother is getting better