First time in my life I’ve been jealous of a child

Oh my god

Someone who will remain nameless took impressive initiative and put BOTH of my cast iron pans in the DISHWASHER save me from this nightmare

three glasses of Prosecco is the best feeling for approx 75 mins and then it’s 7:56pm and you’re already hungover

My friend, what did your mom serve for Thanksgiving? Inquiring minds want to know

Childhood trauma. Hope this helps.

A sense of HUMOR. Hope this helps

Nihilism. Hope this helps

depression? Hope this helps

I would like this place to be slightly more sardonically inclined pls. Less cat pics, more complaining. Thank you (free complaint to kick it off!).

Why do they make iron pills so difficult to get out of the packaging?!? I’m anemic….I literally don’t have the energy to battle a 1cm square of the worlds most stubborn and sharp plastic

Cycling between watching TikTok videos about underwater aliens, and playing Pokémon trading card game pocket instead of watching any news or listening to any news podcasts (pod bros) which previously were taking up 70% of my phone time and tbh I do feel happier

I cannot help as my bartending knowledge starts and ends at pouring tequila over ice and adding a soda (foolproof, however)

so far my favorite dumb thing about being a parent is the scholastic book fair with adult money. I’m letting my kids go craaaazy. your friend can pick a book and some glow in the dark stuff too. get wild.

Obsessively checking my kids passport application statuses. No particular reason.

+ GenX but I already see a lot of you guys here.

Need to figure out how to get rid of all the adorable cats and dogs in my feed on here and to get all the witty, sarcastic, bitter millennials back into my for you feed where they belong.

Unfortunately I do have to announce I will be going back to having 1-2 drinks every evening from now until November 7, 2028. No particular reason.

Lot of pressure with the first Bluesky post. Gonna just rapid fire this off before I overthink it. Maybe I’ll make this like how I used to send tweets to Twitter via text.

(I’m always happier and therefore calmer when my hair looks nice. Tbh I do it once a week in December. My other present to myself..)

1. I order honeybaked ham smoked turkey for thanksgiving, sides preordered from Whole Foods (I just like their holiday menu better)
2. From Thanksgiving to New Years Day my household dishes becomes 100% paper plates, silverware and cups. It’s my present to myself.
3. Blowout bar appts frequently