Hmmm… one of these countries consumes 4x the gasoline per person than the other. What do you think the answer is, @nytimes.com?

My magnum opus!

If you think about it, we’re all just a bunch of Girls in Bubbles

What most people don’t realize is that “grow up!” is actually a pretty vicious retort.

If there’s one thing you need to know about me, it’s that I love a sweet treat!

Kinetic is the brand! They have some cute stuff!

I know a full blown tour is out of the question, but I’m desperate for some sort of announcement for a limited tour for Eternal Sunshine

As a reminder: please stop buying Corporate Pride Apparel unless the proceeds are going to an LGBT charity!

Who the fuck is keeping TCBY open?!

Americans👏🏻 pay👏🏻 for 👏🏻 tariffs👏🏻

How am I supposed to release my inhibitions and feel the rain on my skin in these conditions?

Just preaching the truth!

The casting director for Sunrise of the Reaping deserves a massive pay raise!

The way the pope spent his last day on this Earth lecturing JD Vance on immigration and refugees is actually iconic!

Dear casting directors,

I need more Aaron Taylor-Johnson in my life.

Thanks in advance!

This message is for gay men, but applies to anyone that sends unsolicited nudes: I don’t care how hot said nude is, the recipient did not request it and they owe the sender nothing! Please stop demanding them in return!

Boooooo

Seeking validation from strangers on the internet again…

Nashville Country music makes a lot more sense when you realize at its heart, it’s a celebrations of mid white straight men

All men in Vuori clothing are wearing it because their girlfriend bought it for them. You cannot convince me otherwise

I’m so tired of the word “respectfully” on work calls. Let’s just cut straight to the point and say “fuck you!”

Awkward. I ordered it through B&N on Saturday and it’s out for delivery. lol

Just met with a new therapist and she was immediately like, “yeah, we should really meet weekly.” Lol

Big Agriculture has somehow gaslight many of you to believe potatoes should be sweet and brussels sprouts are good and I will stand by silently no more!

I nearly got eviscerated by a bunch of straight bro coworkers when I said this

The most interesting thing about James Bond (any iteration) is the women he sleeps with, and I feel like the producers have forgotten that

Please do yourself a favor and go listen to your 2020 Apple Replay/ Spotify Wrapped! All the serotonin came rushing back!

Private Equity is so fucked. Firms take a stake in a company, pressure them to grow “shareholder value” & when they inevitably need financing to grow, PE offers it “cheap” like they’re doing them a favor. The moment companies take it, they’re fully financially & operationally beholden to PE.

If you ask to work in with me at the gym before 7:00 AM, I am not liable for whatever reaction I give you

I would like royalties on this post.