A magazine opened at a page entitled "The Roots of Jack-in-the-Green" illustrated by foliage and mysterious faces.
My contributor copy of @helleborezine.bsky.social arrived. Always exciting to see how my pieces will be illustrated.
hated landlords until I became one - tenants are just ungrateful Rhiannon Picton-James
I hated serial killers until I got that first rush of my hands squeezing tighter and tighter around a helpless delicate neck
A text-heavy graphic features the bio of horror author Ally Wilkes (also seen in this threaded post), with a photo of her at right: she's a white woman with long dark hair, wearing a black leather jacket and standing side-on to greenery.
Time to get into some seeker specifics for our 30 May expedition, which means it's time for fan fave @unheimlichmanvr.bsky.social to return with tales from the front.
🧵⬇️
SLICK MODERN MEN: "You cucks, you snivelling creeps, you left-behind nothings, too scared to embrace the majesty of AI, the future, you cowardly insects!"
ALSO SLICK MODERN MEN: "hello robot what should i have for my tea?"
Happy Earth Day.
what if i fucking kill you
A sleepy little mongrel dog resting his head on a pillow with a small smile on his lips.
I've been ill in bed for three days and Brando, bless his weird little mongrel heart, has been guarding me diligently. He even let me sleep with my arm slung over him today, which he doesn't normally love. He's part kuvasz and decided the moment we met that I'm his mother.
Ha, really?! I have this running joke with my partner when we're watching Unsolved Mysteries etc where I turn to him slowly and say, "Clearly the work of a Thingy."
Screenshot of a comment by user dogboydogboydogboydogboy. Comment reads: I didn't have olive oil so I subbed it for ghee. Didn't have onions so I changed it to crispy fried shallots. Didn't have any sausages so I used haggis instead. Didn't have paprika and oregano so I added Garam Masala. Couldn't find any wine so just threw in some sake. There was no stock so just added a flavour packet from some microwave noodles. Didn't have any spinach so just chucked in a few dandelions from the garden. No gnocchi at the shops so just used couscous. Absolutely smashing xx
Really enjoying the BBC Good Food website.
I've got a piece in here about Jack-in-the-Green.
The reason people who see UFOs tend to also encounter Bigfoot or strange phenomena is because there's an intelligent entity that just really enjoys messing with humanity. It knows witnesses will never be believed, so it just freestyles for the sheer amusement of it. It call this entity The Thingy.
"Reform's manifesto for the Senedd election says the party will tell museums how to display history if it wins, saying they will present events in chronological order and "in context"."
So, History Reclaimed but in government.
History without rigour, compassion, or reflection.
#skystorians
Jonathan Keir
Harker Starmer
🤝
Not having enough questions about
their good friend, the Prince of Darkness
Randomly losing the ability to see, form coherent sentences, and use one's hands is more than an inconvenience you should be expected to just live with, but what do I know? I'm just some guy in a dark room hallucinating the smell of petrol.
They should try creating a migraine treatment that works
Screenshot from the Imperial War Museum's social media. A photograph of a horrible puppet from WW1. The caption reads 'I asked ChatGPT-' "Okay, I asked Douglas, the slightly haunted WW1 puppet and he says it's time to get back in the trench."
Multiple people have sent me Douglas today. This is my brand.
My foundation shade is "paramedic asks my partner if I normally look like this" matte white.
I've got that post-migraine flushed face, and as someone who usually has all the vim and vigour of a Victorian ghostly apparition, people keep asking me what's wrong.
"there is a monster in the forest and it speaks with a thousand voices. it will answer any question you pose it, it will offer insight to any idea. it will help you, it will thank you, it will never bid you leave. it will even tell you of the darkest arts, if you know precisely how to ask. "it feels no joy and no sorrow, it knows no right and no wrong. it knows not truth from lie, though it speaks them all the same. "it offers its services freely to any passerby, and many will tell you they find great value in its conversation. "you simply must visit the monster—I always just ask the monster." there are those who know these forests well; they will tell you that freely offered doesn't mean it has no price "for when the next traveler passes by, the monster speaks with a thousand and one voices. and when you dream you see the monster; the monster wears your face."
Coachella is trying to wipe all of the footage of The Strokes protest set so I’m gonna post it here. The last images on the screen made me cry.
Villa Vie Odyssey’s time to shine.
Imagining one of these guys installing a genAI NPC mod and then spending hours each day being encouraged into a delusional suicidal state by Preston Garvey or Cave Johnson or Kim Kitsuragi etc
Gondorians hearing Isildur’s heir has returned:
Tomodachi Life screenshot; me and Fanny Cradock
Me and Fanny Cradock. Together at last.
Found a super pretty empty tequila bottle with a spherical cork stopper on my walk this morning. I took it home to make it into a terrarium, but that involved walking through town at 9:30am on a Sunday with an empty bottle of tequila in my hand.
Screenshot: styled cartoon of me - blonde, fangs, smiling - and Count Orlok the pale bald vampire with a huge moustache.
Count Orlok asking “what do you think these are?” Beside a silhouette that looks like a cock and balls.
Styling cartoon David Lynch saying “I could talk about the Eraserhead baby all day long!”
Cartoon David Lynch lies in the grass with The Judderman, a hideous grey spindly man from a vodka advert about 25 years ago
Game of the year.
Space aliens are real, communist, and want us to be happy CONFIRMED
And the woman did speak unto the hound, saying, What do you mean, normal men, and the hound answered the woman, saying, We are just innocent men. And great was her emotion
I can ship it to Oz, but it's expensive. It's a chunky book. Do you do ebooks? I'm sure I have the ebook around somewhere.
I need to try streaming, because surely everyone wants to watch a middle aged blonde yell "GIMME BACK MY SHEEP, YOU FRENCH BASTARD!" for three hours.
