And trying to return to them seems terrifying, like these projects are larger than just what i can handle despite hyeatery being small.

And then theres all my other projects, AbyssMC, Abyss Hytale, and Hyeatery, I lost motivation entirely due to multiple people telling me to take breaks, pushing me to stop working on it and do something else for a bit, I lost steam the will to push and just make things.

this is why the Twilight princess video kept getting pushed back, I dont see myself as someone who fits into that genre of content i cant formulate the words i cant do scripts, i cant do editing, i just cant.

ive been able to apply to jobs and try to get money but streaming, facing people again, anything like that feels far far out of reach, and i dont know why, this was my passion and now its as if i cant even think about it without feeling like im gonna throw up,

longer explanation.
Ive been avoiding talking about it to even my psychiatrist, My meds work but they dont fix anything they just help me ignore it better jsut like all the other meds ive tried.

Im not getting better, My depression seems to be worsening and my anxiety while i can ignore it is wors

Alright THIS IS A THREAD READ ALL OF IT

So i cant figure out how i want to explain why ive been gone so im doing it here, the discord gets these posts anyway.

TLDR
Im unsure if ill ever stream like i used to or record like i used to. Depression is hell and i dont see myself ever being free of it

Buy Aokiralvt a Coffee Become a supporter of Aokiralvt today!

blehhh... i hate to push more and more, but uhhh i badly need food in my home, can anyone spare money? its like two weeks till my mom gets paid, and this job hasnt even started for me ;-;
ko-fi.com/aokiralvt
i dont have much to offer back besides maybe a quick video edit.

i have tried to record the video a few times, so instead ill try to do a resonite stream where i just sit and talk answer questions, tommorow.

So its 3 am again.
Tommorow ill be making another update video. Explain where ive been why i keep vanishing and hopefully this time take my time.
Last one was meant to be half an hour. If i remember i rushed it to 15 minutes.
Ill sit in front of the camera. And talk.

An (commissions open) on X: "Many faces, immortalized. #art #furry #furryart https://t.co/83acpWbXYl" / X Many faces, immortalized. #art #furry #furryart https://t.co/83acpWbXYl

x.com/anonymousboi...

guys. go like this art

This isn't quite the special thing I had to share soon, but

Whatever you do at the crossroads, keep going forward. This line means.. so much more than youd ever think, at least to me.

Ill be working on recreating some environments from sfawtde and dawtde in blender. Releasing them for free whenever im done.

Whatever happens. Keep moving forward.

does that mean everyone else is gay today?

Art isnt defined by how much effort is put into it.
this took 5 minutes, but made me learn how to do a fog effect.

over the years ive seen alot of fake suicide note posts that get people bullied off the internet on april first.

its april first, you know what that means, grab the popcorn and watch people make "funny joke posts" that get them horribly canceled because morbid doesnt equal funny.

Apparently they did rerelease it with modern controls but exclusive to xbox as Rare Replay, which sucks because i adored this game as a kid, never beat it because the stupid drone races some of them required literal perfect completion, a time of 0'0

Does anyone remember The n64 game, Jet Force Gemini?

i really wish i could play this gem again but emulating it on pc is horrendous because its in that in-between era of shooters, where one stick were still the only way.

Crunchy

Rocks arespicy

A post fueled by my insecurities and mental state being flipfloppy.

What if i fail, what if i fall what if, what if what if..... what if you succeed. What if you fly, soar far past what you ever thought possible.
Youll never know if you just wonder. Failing is normal its human. Just try.

The plan was to stream this weekend but stuff happenned and streams being postponed to likely monday

thank you for say that 🥲... here chair

its 1:20 am i am not tired, and am very confused at how, in other news, I need to stop getting into random hobbies like modding my wii, because every fuckign problem is solved by buying a wiiu, and i foudn somone sellign a wii u, for 160$ with the gamepad.
problem. IM BROKE

trees alone with you not are

You are not alone if there are trees

I have alot of the script written and ready to record but i have no background for resonite, i have no way to do the camera hwo i wanted, i have no B-roll or way to obtain b-roll.

holy shit i had to split this very weird. theres more on the discord discord.gg/BcxEXtr4jD

this would limit emotes to PC users only however,

So that zelda video you promised for january. Where is it?
Yeah uh, I still want to do this but no longer have any plan on how,

and trying to get that workign as close to twitch as i can

BUT MY EMOTES ;-;
Yes emotes WILL BE GONE ON STREAMS, this is because youtube does not allow non paying members to use emotes, this means unless i can get monetized i cannot get emotes working unless i use betterTTV and have you all use it