A single rubber monster claw lying in a basket in a depressing charity shop.

For Sale: Monster Claw, Never Used

Happy birthday! 🎉 🍾 (You absolutely should, btw )

I've made a huge mistake and let the gen z staff at Specsavers have the final say in the frames for my new glasses (I panicked under the pressure), please pray for me.

Finally, the excuse I've been looking for to start buying ruffs.

I have once again unwittingly bought *tinted* lip balm, meaning my frantic and near-constant applying of what is essentially lipstick has me looking more Joker-fied than I realised.

I can't even imagine the thought process behind it, but I for one was grateful for it.

Tiny screen embedded in a plane seat showing the title card of Suddenly Susan, Brooke Shields' hit(?) sitcom from the 90s.

I'm on a plane and this Saudi Arabian airline's in-flight entertainment includes twelve episodes from season four of Suddenly Susan.

The woman was born to make incredible music videos - it's just a shame she's convinced she has Something To Say to accompany the visual flair.

Letterboxd's Diary Milestones, showing I have now watched my 200th film of the year.

Many, many facets of my life are in shambles at the moment, but I've just watched my 200th film of the year so I'm doing *something* right

It's me, a white man throwing a peace sign like a filthy millennial.

Merry Xmas all, hope everyone has a peaceful and enjoyable time, whatever that looks like.

Feeling very 🫠 since the budget announcement last week included a cheeky reveal that I'll be out of a job next year. Fighting the urge to despair and instead seeing it as an opportunity for transformation.

If you're a future employer reading this please know I don't always talk like a serial killer

NOW it's free to watch on YouTube?

Lol at Audible turning the comments off on the TikTok ads for their wretched Harry Potter thing. Lmao, even.

A lovely dog in his dog bed, staring at the camera in a very unsettling way.

He's very beautiful but every photo I take of him makes him look like a demon who's about to kill me.

Adventures in dog-sitting: Day One

I know we all have bigger problems right now but the new American linguistic tic of "mind you" may just be what finally does me in.

To the diva responsible for playing Government Hooker in the Cineworld foyer last night while I was waiting to go into 28 Years Later, thank you for your service.

Choosing between a heat-induced stroke or rage-induced stroke as I weigh up going out for a walk in this unbearable heat just to get away from my awful next door neighbours and their awful yapping dog >:-(

A man in a dinosaur print shirt, soaking wet and on a carousel at the end of the pier

I'm in Blackpool for my birthday, and it's...well, raining would be an understatement.

Every time someone posts a Schitt's Creek gif in the work group chat on whatsapp I take significant psychic damage.

The past couple of days have been highly irregular in terms of my routine and social interactions, and now I'm in a depressive stupor I can't snap out of. It turns out having a life and spending time with loved ones is actually quite bad for you, wouldn't recommend.

Thank you! x

It's me, a 40 year old man lying on his sofa.

I'm 40 today btw

I quote this way too often, but sometimes you really do just want to like, run around the land all day.

What is everyone doing to maintain their sanity these days? Every time I hear about a single fucking thing happening in this country/the world at large I take significant psychic damage and it's really grinding me down.

Probably, but I just hate to see bad behaviour rewarded :(

*Aggressively* reminding myself it's just a TV game show and not emblematic of everything that's wrong with the world and its inherent injustice.

I just received a thank you email from a company I bought something from that opens, literally before even "Hey Dan", with a Will Ferrell gif. Extremely cursed start to the day.

I thought my manager was wearing a single fingerless glove and I was very into it, but then I realised it was a wrist brace.

A summary of my 2024 in film, as per Letterboxd. Kristen Stewart was my most watched actor of the year, as she should be.

I know that's right