Ambien- Don’t follow your dreams, just black out, hook up with them, with no safe word.

#ThingsHaveChanged :
Beauty Salons are now just called Salons.
Because lot of you came out, just as ugly as you went in.

Come on people,
JD Vance is not banging Charlie Kirk’s wife!
She looks nothing like a sofa.
She’s got more of a body pillow vibe.

If I’m being honest, any weight loss progress I’ve made, is only to keep at bay the damage I’m going to do from Halloween to New Years.

SINGLE LIFE LESSON:
APPARENTLY ANYONE WHO SAYS THEY WANT THE ‘PRINCESS TREATMENT’
DOESN’T MEAN THE PART
WHEN THEY’RE CAPTURED.

Make a movie food:

My Big Fat Greek Salad Wedding

Space Meatballs

Beauty and the Mr. Beast Burger

I'm not sure if love or math is the true universal language, but sex work is the Venn diagram where they meet

Eyes are the windows to where your soul is supposed to be.

AT THIS POINT THERE SHOULD BE DRINKING GAME CALLED:
RED SKULL, COBRA COMMANDER OR TRUMP: WHERE YOU NAME A PLOT & HAVE TO SAY WHO DID IT

“Fact:Abortions, Gay Marriage & immigrants have killed more Americans than mass shootings.”
-Said climate change denying conspiracy theorist

Things I miss:
-Vans with D&D/Metal art work
-Blind musicians
-IRL co-op gaming
-Fast music about American history
-Critical thinking

Ethical Non Monogamy is the Custodial Engineer of dating.
Thank you for your service. 🫡

Today I learned something really important.
Unfortunately I’m really forgetful and what were we talking about?

These days a remake of Three’s Company would be called: Throuple Trouble

Science!

IF TYLENOL REALLY CAUSED AUTISM WE’D ALL BE BETTER AT MATH.

#ThanosWasRight

Dumb dumb science

I feel like I should post more here…here…here…he-ear

Radio active shrimp?
Under RFK JR’s watch?
Honestly, at this point I’m surprised it’s just radiation.

TRUMP ANNOUNCING MILITARY CONTROL OF DC TOTALLY MEANS TRUMP’S NAME IS IN EPSTEIN LIST.

Having Mr. Garrison as a Trump avatar was fun.
Having Trump as the new Sadam Hussein is hilarious.
I wanna a ‘6 Days To Air’ sequel just on this episode.
Nice job South Park🫡

Heads up:
I’m making chili tonight for dinner.
If you don’t hear from me tomorrow it’s because my kid’s farts killed me.

SO WHO ARE WE BETTING/HOPING IS GOING TO BE #3? 🤔

My kids look at cursive, the way I looked at calligraphy. Cool but pretentious.

I’m officially at the age where I don’t want to get a hand job.
I want to get a hand career.

So Obama broke the law? While in office?! But the Supreme Court said presidents have presidental immunity! Damn.

But if Trump did anything illegal, with minors, before he was president- THAT’s still a crime. Yup- Trump’s on the Epstein List

Quick reminder:
If you need AI for a made up fantasy because in reality you’re on the Epstein List, you’re definitely a pedophile.