Movie remake idea: #madmax Fury Road, but the War Boys are all Mrs Warboys from One Foot In The Grave.

Richard Wilson as Immortan Joe

I don't mean to brag, but I've just managed to remove a single wet wipe from the packet.

When I introduce myself, after I say my name I'll say "Not that Gareth Royall, obviously" so I can watch them trying to remember a famous Gareth Royall they should have heard of.

There isn't one. I checked.

I'm sorry for your loss. Your Mum had a very kind smile.

I'll level with you, I had to look up what that means.

Now that I have, I like it very much. Thank you Neil.

Taking a moment to remember my Dad, who we laid to rest four years ago today.

#Sunrise over the Thames at #Teddington. So cold the river has frozen at the entrance to the lock.

James Wan Mews?

Wes Craven Boulevard?

What next, George A Romero Lane?

Getting my gladrags* ready for a rambunctious** NYE night out***

*PJs
**Not rambunctious
***In

Happy new year, everybody x

For the first time ever I've been able to go to a regular shop and buy myself a suit off the peg in the sale like a normal sized person!

#totp

When you're at the Landmark Arts Centre in March, I recommend a trip to Teddington Cheese on Station Road. I'd be lying if I said it's the ONLY reason I moved into the neighbourhood, but it was certainly a factor.

It dropped at just the right time to cheer up a blustery night shift, so thank you!

Number one in an occasional photo series called "Pictures on Rightmove that make it look like a gnome is hiding behind a low wall"

Increase revenue by making House of Games wheelie suitcases available for sale.

#peaceonearth

694, because I finally have access to a shed.

Noted and appreciated!

I'll give it another couple of episodes before jumping forward, I like some of them. It's just Phil and Amity sending me slightly loco.

I'm currently working on a The Block viewing spreadsheet. Three episodes in to season 1, and wondering whether Amity will ever do anything likable.

I'm guessing not.

Throwback to last summer.

Early start to catch the tide for these boaters.

When laying the table these go on the far right.

Who's that short fella to the right of Laura?

(My knees were positively groaning, but I think a nicely balanced photo is worth it)

Can't help but feel that a lot of conflict could have been avoided in the Wild West if cowboy architects had just made their town big enough for everyone.

Libraries.

They're called libraries.

Insomniacs and shift workers.

Number one in an occasional photo series called Gateposts that look a bit like Badly Drawn Boy.

Worst 9th Dr Who cosplays ever #totp