They should try to three-point turn one of those fuckers in, say, the Panama Canal

Turns out leopards aren't very selective whose face they eat, despite what was promised

Die Alternative ist leider "der gleiche Scheißfußball, aber weniger Punkte". Was auch mit Kovac passieren wird, wenn Glück und Überperformen zum Erliegen kommen. "Regression to the mean" kommt für uns alle.

Eine die wir die wir mit der Gabe des Augenlichts gesegnet sind uns über die ganzen 90 Minuten gewünscht hätten

Normale Suchanfrage mit vielen, langweiligen Ergebnissen: "Rennauto Bett".

Based Suchanfrage mit wenigen, enttäuschenden Ergebnissen: "Rennauto Doppelbett 180x200".

😭

Wow. Leseverständnis eines Gartenschlauchs.

Der Liberale™ ändert die Öffnungszeiten des örtlichen AfD-Parteibüros in lustige Nazizahlen, und hält sich danach direkt für Graf Stauffenberg (von dem er politisch echt nicht weit weg ist)

Wer sind schon Sophie Scholl und Georg Elser? So geht Widerstand!

Guy who burnt through $ 44 bn just to be liked

Image: a screenshot of X with a still from an Elon Musk interview. Text: Guy who has that more than anyone on earth Elon Musk: "It's a real weakness to want to be liked, a real weakness, and I do not have that."

I’m so sorry for both the X screenshot (though it’s actually insta) and for mentioning *him* but this has made me laugh and laugh and laugh.

Hätte ich ja umformuliert in "hat erfolgreich ein Trauma ausgelöst"

Assume a perfectly spherical Roseanne Barr in a vacuum

Nobody outpapas the Pope

He just cannot shut up about this. He thinks he's gonna win his catholicism forum war with the fuckin pope

Also perfekt für Punkrock. 🥰

Ist die Halle doof, oder einfach nur nach einem Nazi benannt?

Witzigerweise erfüllt R. Provost alle Kriterien, um 2028 das Witzigstmögliche zu machen: US-Staatsbürger, mind. 35 Jahre alt, mind. 14 Jahre in den USA gelebt, noch keine zweimal POTUS gewesen. Dass er nebenberuflich Bischof von Rom ist? Kein Hinderungsgrund, wäre sonst religiöse Diskriminierung.

In this thread: Aviation-Wehraboos korrigieren Tweet.

"Well, actually war das ein Sikorsky MH-60 mit Zusatztanks, AN/APQ-Terrainfolgeradar, und den optionalen Keramikbremsen im exklusiven AMG-Sportpaket. Außerdem hat mich noch nie ein Mensch in den Arm genommen"

You know, Robert Francis Prevost, being an American citizen over the age of 35, who has resided in the US for at least 14 years and has not yet served as President of the United States, has the opportunity to do the funniest shit ever in 2028.

Once again, I am not Catholic, but as a historian, I am encouraging the Catholic Church to rediscover excommunication for prominent and notorious heresiarchs that refuse correction in such a clear and blatant manner.

Rediscover your roots!

It's only a Molotov cocktail when it's from the Molotov region in France. Otherwise it's just an ordinary sparkling incendiary device.

My Spring to do list
by JD Vance

1. Prevent Iran war
2. Negotiate end to Iran war
3. Reelect Viktor Orbán

Bezeichnet von wem? Leuten, die auf die Bezeichnung "Mitteldeutschland" beharren, weil irgendwann einmal Ostpreußen heim ins Reich kommen wird?
Mitte Deutschlands, das weiß jeder Bahnfahrer, ist Kassel-Wilhelmshöhe. Welches Gleis genau, darüber wurden schon Bürgerkriege begonnen.

BREAKING: Following the American threat of an “Avignon Papacy,” Robert Kennedy has begun a Diet of Worms

excommunicate jd vance. place washington dc under interdict. the whole diocese of arlington, too, for good measure - that’s where half the supreme court goes to mass.

Not sure how that's gonna work given that Taiwan has what maritime experts call An Eastern Coast

How Trump Took the U.S. to War With Iran

1/ NYT out with a huge piece on the decision to go to war. It's much as we thought: Bibi sold Trump a rosy scenario that he heard over the mild to moderate warnings that it was BS but the details are so...appalling/demoralizing.

Vance clearly a source:

GIFT LINK 🎁 www.nytimes.com/2026/04/07/u...

Quis blockadiet ipsos blockades?

From Clickhole's "Incredible! We Asked These Astronauts What It’s Like To Be In Space," Barry Wilmore: You never know true beauty until you see Earth from space, or true terror until you hear someone knocking on the space station door from outside. You look through the porthole and see an astronaut, but all your crew is inside and accounted for. You use the comm to ask who it is and he says he’s Ramirez returning from a repair mission, but Ramirez is sitting right next to you in the command module and he’s just as confused as you are. When you tell the guy this over the radio he starts banging on the door louder and harder, begging you to let him in, saying he’s the real Ramirez. Meanwhile, the Ramirez inside with you is pleading to keep the airlock shut. It really puts life on Earth into perspective.

One of the very best from Clickhole