Godspeed

The Onion Is Sold by G/O Media The satirical news website was bought by a new firm in Chicago that took inspiration for its name, Global Tetrahedron, from a book written by The Onion’s staff.

NEWS: My friends and I now own and run The Onion. I’ll be the CEO.

We’re keeping the entire staff, bringing back The Onion News Network, and will share the wealth with staff. Basically, we’re going to let them do whatever they want.

Get excited.

Really weird GOP response! Eerie aesthetic, incomprehensible way of speaking, on the verge of tears interrupted by random smiling while she's angry. Extremely similar vibes to someone confessing to Mariska Hargitay at the end of Law And Order: SVU. Recommend watching it!

@kenklippenstein.bsky.social free Ken

Happy new year

Hallowphobic

how were the residuals for the Ozempic choir

eat shit

My conspiracy theory that Spotify shuffle boosts songs with lower royalties

Same

heartbroken

Twitter withdrawal symptoms

welcome back to heaven

Let me read for fat computer guy at desk or something

You can barter adrenochrome for verification here

@brettmorrison.bsky.social skeet skeet

@milesklee.bsky.social what's your new Twitter @

Voting yes

Happy birthday

Otter Scissorhands made me cry

Scab

average Columbia graduate

Yonemoto is great

😩

Hey Tom

BASED

FINISH HIM