‘Purple Rain’ is one of the greatest songs ever made. Fight me.

Good morning ☀️

Anybody else have that unrealistic expectation that your life needs to change completely on a Saturday night or your entire weekend was wasted?

a woman is talking to another woman and says i have a fifth sense . ALT: a woman is talking to another woman and says i have a fifth sense .

My soul just knows when it’s 5pm, no clock needed. The drinks call to me 🔮

Love that I just made so many Depop purchases that my bank flagged it as fraud

Vivienne Westwood (before and after Andreas Kronthaler)

Genuinely considering paying $300+ to go see Lily Allen in SF. Someone please talk me out of it!

This ass? Lethal.
My farts? Atomic.
My game? Fergalicious.

Donald Trump needs to be shot (not a new opinion, just more relevant than ever)

New city, same boy

In all my years in Portland, I never once went to a Sinferno Cabaret at Dante’s. Lets change that 🔥

Thanks love! SF 🌁

I’m a Californian now 😎

I said goodbye to Portland on Sunday. It was bittersweet but I will be back! PDX will always have a special place in my heart 🖤

I need people to stop making IG profiles for their dogs

You would think after moving over a dozen times in my lifetime that it would get easier. Afraid not!

I really do enjoy this glasses and jacket combo too much

@dsbigham.bsky.social the entire album is just a masterpiece 👌🏻

I cannot stop listening to ‘West End Girl’

Okay but when do we panic? Should I start seeking asylum?

HBD 🎂 🥳

I need Heidi Montag to be on Traitors immediately

Heaven is a dive bar

What if we kissed in the graffitied Waymo driverless car?

In 2026 I’m going to be more funny (at my own expense most likely)

She Klingon my star until I trek

Just had scrambled eggs at 4pm on a Friday. I am an animal.

#advertorial4fascists

You got it boss

I don’t think I belong in corporate America. I think I belong at like, a gas station.