I've built a socioeconomic system that depends on everyone to do useful work and act ethically except the people at the top, who get unimaginable rewards for being antisocial frauds and criminals. And I think it will stand the test of time

I can’t say more now as it could jeopardize the entire project but I am very close to developing something that WILL beat a Jet2 Holiday

me when someone cites the deep magic to me even though I was there when it was written: holy shit, for real? I don't remember that part at all

Your 20’s are for having gonorrhea. Your 30’s are for having panic attacks.
Your 40’s are for having many many many symptoms you’re quite certain are early signs of cancer.

We might have fought a war for nothing and came in third but maybe the real freedom of navigation was the friends we made along the way.

happy confederate surrender day! let us remember the sacrifice of those who suffered and died to end one of the most wretched institutions ever created, and also remember that next time we need to hang the fuckin’ traitors

Only a master deal maker could achieve the status quo of 5 weeks ago in exchange for accomplishing nothing of value and turning his country into a global pariah. Thank you sir

yeah man i'll circle back to you on that agenda item from yesterday's all hands in just a sec. our pedophile king just threatened to destroy a whole civilization

I hate that I got this joke.

I guess boycotting Harry Potter feels pretty trivial to me, because I'm an adult. if someone told me I shouldn't eat Gerber's baby food, I'd be like, that is no problem. I'm way ahead of you

"everyone you know is fighting a battle you know nothing about" isn't a reminder to be kind it's acknowledging a failure of military intelligence

rip robert mueller you taught me it was okay to do nothing when faced with the most consequential task of my life

a billionaire must never make a decision because the billionaire can never be held accountable

The entire objective of the war is now "Fix the problem we caused by starting the war." And they can't! That objective seems entirely out of reach.

Me every time I see one of those Windows 11 "talk to your computer" ads.

why aren't other countries helping us with the strait of hormuz after we started an unjust war, cut off trade, and insulted them for a year?

Sorry, can you repeat yourself? I didn’t hear what you were saying because I was too busy thinking about my own death.

If I understand correctly, the thing propping up the global economy is Wall Street’s collective belief that a man whose father, wife, and daughter we killed would not want to do anything that would impact our 401ks to us and will make a deal so Mr. Trump can have a good midterm.

do you think you could drink a 12-ounce can of soda of your choosing every day for a week for 76 million dollars? the catch is that during that week, you’re not allowed to travel to columbus, georgia unless you already had plans to or you just want to

We should set aside our petty grievances in order to make room for new and even more petty grievances

whether war, vaccines, or critical infrastructure there is contingent of the right that seems to believe that their security from the worst things that happen is some kind of metaphysical principle rather than the result of specific historical processes that could've gone otherwise and still could

If you’re a Democrat in Congress who is considering supporting Trump’s illegal war in Iran, please consider self-immolation instead.

The purpose of this website is to help unburden your brain by releasing horrible sentences that live in there like demons