Matt Damon playing a 14th century French knight that looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Mullet. Beard. Smells like horse shit, pine tar, and cigarette smoke.

Matt Damon while playing Odysseus who also looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Long, skinny beard. Smells like horseshit, pine tar, and perhaps Mediterranean herbs.

Matt Damon playing a 19th century cowboy that looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Mustache. Shaggy hair. Smells like horse shit, pine tar, and definitely chewing tobacco.

Every time Matt Damon takes on a period role he ends up looking like a third baseman for the Phillies.

you can make it pretty far in life by just not being an annoying dickhead. which is why it's strange that so many people seem to be dickheadmaxxing

Me: Do you think Gritty and Grimace are cousins?

Interviewer: I meant questions about the job

I live in a building that houses more people than a rural voter sees in a week. They would shit their pants and start a podcast about ghosts if they heard one voice through their wall.

just as the prophecy foretold

Confluence, I assure you, I do not want email updates on popular content I may have missed.

dudes will see this and say "hell yeah"

🧵

Tweet from Pete Hegseth: "The War Department is once again restoring freedom to our Joint Force. We are discarding the mandatory flu vaccine requirement, effective immediately."

In World War I more U.S. soldiers died of influenza than from combat. In America's first 145 years of war more soldiers and sailors died from infectious diseases than from enemy action. In every single war in human history more combatants have died of illness and disease than bullets and the blade.

If anyone is curious, I just finished the Boston Marathon. It should be noted, however, that I started running it on President's Day.

holy shit ... yessssssssssss!!

it’s a great day for transphobes to eat shit

two images of the human body's circulatory system. One of them with good cable management

The human circulatory system, before and after proper cable management.

Steak Tips Sando

post-game steak tips sando is always the right move

It's important we don't get *too* hung up on the details, you know ... let's focus on the reasonable ticket prices (and ignore the rest of my purchases)

OPE — I was definitely just on tv right behind a proposal!

Beer. Fenway.

Italian sausage. Beer.

Good seats at Fenway.

Cold + Rainy + Breezy + Busy Sports Weekend = Cheap Last Minute Ticket in the Fancy Seats

Wendy’s simply costs too much to be tasting like that

I am so full of penicillin...and yet.

I'm not joking when I say mRNA technology is more important than "AI" and it's a tragedy we're throwing billions into one while our government is aggressively defunding the other.

We provide immense subsidies to rural areas through redistribution and industrial policy, which all of the white rural areas resist kicking and screaming because wind and solar is a Chinese plot to trans their kids who don't talk to them.

The Inflation Reduction Act was the single most aggressive investment in rural America since the New Deal.

Direct investment, high wage jobs, energy security, you name it. It was all there.

Too bad it happened 200 years ago and all the records of it are lost forever.

mRNA technology may be THE most underrated and unfairly scrutinized (fuck you COVID antivax crew) medical breakthrough in my lifetime.

Like... The things this is already showing it can do in the last 5-7 years is incredible.

a CyberTruck tailgate wrapped with flowers and peace signs and the license plate reads "GRLBOS"

jogged by the Tesla dealership and saw the usual slew of busted-ass CyberTrucks awaiting repair ... this one was particularly special

Zohran Mamdani on CBS — “Socialist politics can flourish anywhere, because there is only one majority in this country, and that is the working class. It’s time we have a politics that puts them at the heart of what we’re doing, not in the appendix.”

America’s Mayor can’t miss.

WrestleMania Night One Review: lotta fuckin' commercials

Becky comes out looking like a million dollars.
Seth comes out looking like a fucking demon.

Get you a household that can do both.

I mean ... that should probably be enough to make it through the weekend. Maybe.

Alternate ending of ET where RFK Jr. finds him in that ditch.

There's a fine line between comfort clutter and depression squalor and boy do I walk that line like Johnny everloving Cash

hey i’m thinking of getting into crime does anyone know if the FBI director is blacked out currently