Here in Oklahoma, we call him the wrestling plumber.

Coffee is up 18.3%

Ground beef is up 17.2%

Cereal is up 6.2%

Steak is up 18%

Bananas are up 5.4%

Orange juice is up 28%

Fish is up 5.1%

Cookies are up 5%

Totally just bought this sight unseen.

#Golfito
#CostaRica
#PuraVida

I don't like babysitting adults.

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

Send this guy to #RussiaRussiaRussia.

I think my new grandbaby is gonna make her entrance into the world this weekend.

Send good vibes to Mommy and Baby Tatum if you would.

#Gagalife
#TatumMay
#Number4

Poor p3do protector, Pam.

It’s not so much her face — it’s her spirit that’s unfortunate.

#TrumpsteinCoverup
#PamTheP3doProtector
#IHateThatBitch
#Perjury

I didn't have a name until the day I left the hospital. My name was gonna be Eric if I was a boy. Mom had Laurie picked out for a girl. She didn't love it.

On the day we were going home (nameless), the amazing black nurse that took of us said, "She looks like a Lisa to me."

The rest is history.

No shit?

I just woke up.

Is he dead yet?

This part 👇

I cannot express how much I love this woman.

#Shero
#FuckTedCruz

Waiting on my girls.

We going to see New Edition and Toni Braxton.

#MyPrerogative

I'm not a jealous person by nature. I don't envy others.

Like, ever.

But, NGL, I'm a little envious of NYC right now.

#WeAllLoveMayorMamdani

This dude is currently a professor at Harvard.

Fuck the orange turd!

I sometimes will get the Washington Post and the Washington Times confused but now it doesn’t matter

👇🏽

a man in a suit and tie is pointing at something ALT: a man in a suit and tie is pointing at something

Word on the street is that #MoscowMitch is in the hospital.

NEWS: The U.S. Supreme Court will allow the new California congressional map to stand, rejecting Republicans’ bid to block it. It’s a huge win for Democrats heading into the midterms.

So, I might have just bought a fixer-upper sight unseen in Golfito, Puntarenas, Costa Rica.

I'm slightly freaking out.

OH. MY. GOD.

#Paradise
#PuraVida
#BlowingThisPopsicleStand

Someone in my office just handed me a piece of red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting.

It has raisins in it.

I now have trust issues with her.

#GotMyEyeOnYouKelli

Hey my Oklahomies! US Sen. Markwayne Mullin’s seat is on the ballot in November.

He acts like a ruffian in congress & challenges witnesses & colleagues to fights.

He never once answers emails or gives townhalls.

Let's send him & his little box back home.

You are so weak!

Please retire!

@schumer.senate.gov