Ok this is kinda neat. On 8/2, the Cubs are giving away a marquee nightlight to kids.

There are a LOT of Phillies fans around Wrigley tonight

It is cold in Wrigleyville once again. If you’re coming down, wear layers and drink hot chocolate or just drink til you can’t feel the cold anymore, I’m not your dad.

New summer uniform just dropped

If you insist on driving down for a Cubs game I am begging you to slow the fuck down on the side streets because people do, in fact, live here and speed limits exist for a reason.

Forecast calls for 72 and partly cloudy at Wrigley today. Life is short, tickets aren’t that expensive. Take the afternoon off, grab a beer, go to the game.

Two year old: “I wanna stay in my crib!”
Same kid, same. Wednesday morning in Chicago.

Having a two year old and an infant is what I imagine closing down a bar at 2 am is like. People are just kinda doing stuff that they’ve been told not to do repeatedly, it’s messy, you’re tired and just want some quiet.

My wife is making a French toast bake this morning using hot dog buns because we are a Chicago family.

It’s gonna be 75 and the wind is gonna be blowing out at Wrigley and if you’re in the bleachers today maybe pay attention to the game

Always kinda funny when the out of towners stumbling to their cars after Cubs games see neighborhood people out with strollers or walking their dog and it hits them that people actually live in Wrigleyville

When you know it’s gonna be the goods

On the one hand the Cubs haven’t looked great so far this season.
On the other, it’s April 11, this is a legitimately good Pirates squad and not the bottom feeders of years past and also, it is April 11.

First time seeing Wrigley in a week and it is giving me LIFE

Going to preface this by saying I love my daughters more than anything in the world. However, having run seven marathons and gone through the newborn stage twice now I can tell you the newborn stage is far more mentally and physically draining.

an elderly woman is dancing in front of a brick wall and says `` it 's party time '' . ALT: an elderly woman is dancing in front of a brick wall and says `` it 's party time '' .

My newborn: Sleeps all day.
Night time rolls around, mom and dad want to sleep.
Newborn:

Living in Wrigleyville means sometimes you’ll be doing your laundry and poof! A Sluggers batting cage token will magically pop out of the basket.

Apple Watch: “You didn’t sleep well last night.”
Brother I have two kids two and under at home.

Oh my god something is actually going into the old Einstein Bros at Newport and Clark

My two year old just met my three day old for the first time and now they’re having a contest to see who can scream the loudest and I feel like this is some sort of real life metaphor for social media in 2026.

$110 to park my car so my wife could give birth. Astounding.

“You can’t take him seriously” I mean he’s the goddamn President, not a comedian.

When my wife and I had our first kid, one of my buddies asked if I was worried about how people would react to the shift in my content from being about being a drunk to being a dad and look, I can still be a good dad while being the guy everyone wants to grab a beer with.

Good morning, guys. Kiddo goes home today. Gonna be a great day.

The Bulls burn it all down in the front office, the Sky trade Angel Reese, Matthew Boyd goes on the IL. It’s only 2 o’clock here in Chicago and we have had quite a Monday.

Fellas if I can offer you some tips for when your lady gives birth…1. Whatever the nurses say, you do it. 2. Change every diaper. Every. Diaper. 3. If your lady says she needs something, you get it for her and you ask what else she needs. 4. DO NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT THE HIDE-A-BED

It is almost 4 am and instead of being up because I’m doomscrolling, I’m up because I have to help feed our two day old. This is different. This is lovely.

Baby’s first Cubs game

Since we found out we’re having a second daughter, the most common question I’ve been asked is “Are you guys gonna try for a boy?” And, no. I have never cared about which gender my kids were, as long as they’re not assholes. Plus, I love being a girl dad.

Just now realizing that the Cubs winning the World Series is now the second best thing to happen in my life on a day where rain delayed a Cubs game in Cleveland. Dang. Did not think that was possible.