2/2 Sadly she suffered structural damage after a fall getting out of her box during my parent's 60th wedding anniversary (because that's how my family celebrates these things!) and has been confined to quarters ever since.
1/2 Snowdrop didn't make it onto The Repair Shop! In the end she was just too big and heavy to move safely around their historic site.
For those of you who missed the beginning of this story last year, Snowdrop is a mechanical elephant, created by members of my family around 30 years ago.
Fantastic!
6/6 Thirdly, right now, to get through today, find yourself a way to unburden. Rant to a friend. Find a quiet corner and scream into your jumper. Steal a few moments and feel the wind on your face.
Good luck.
5/6 Firstly, you're not mad. This has a physical reason.
Secondly you need to get a handle on this - and that's going to be a mix of medical, lifestyle and practical solutions - the ones that work for you.
4/6 It really is your hormones. The function of parts of the brain - including the amygdala which manages fight or flight among other things - are affected by variations in oestrogen levels. And in perimenopause your oestrogen levels are all over the place.
3/6 And it's not like you can let rip and unleash some of that anger, because here, now, in the classroom that's going to cause a lot more problems than it solves.
So you bite it down. It disturbs your sleep. And in the morning it starts to build up again.
2/6 And all the world's unpleasantness and injustice seems to pile up and make you really mad!
It's not that you don't have good reason to be angry. It's more that keep being angry makes you feel rubbish.
1/6 Has perimenopause given you mood poisoning?
You know what I mean. Those little things that you used to take in your stride make you really annoyed. Those feelings of irritation that you used to take off, dig in and keep at you.
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Is it time Minnie-paws was in Pet's Corner again?
4/4 One solution is to build a really good menopause support group.
Here's how.
A menopause support group in a box!
www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1...
3/4 The danger is that those relationships take a back seat when school life becomes all consuming.
We also need support and understanding from others around us.
And honestly, I've yet to find a better way of blowing away brain fog than having a good laugh.
2/3 You may not get to see much of your colleagues - and sometimes, despite it being a caring profession, you may feel you can't trust the response you get from your colleagues.
It's a time you really need support. Very often it's our female friendships that strengthen and help us get through.
1/4 Experiencing perimenopause and menopause in a school can be really isolating. Let's face it, you spend most of the day with lots of people - but not the people you can be honest about menopause with.
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4/4 Endurance is not resilience. Hiding problems is not coping.
Old boots need to be supple as well as strong. Old boots will crack if they are not cared for.
3/4 That kind of culture makes it impossible for staff who are struggling with perimenopause or menopause to speak up and impossible for them to get support. Peri/menopausal teachers in those environments tend to disappear quietly. That's both a personal tragedy and a loss to the profession.
2/4 That needing to switch off or set boundaries is treated as a betrayal.
That they're never supposed to falter or need support.
That they'll sacrifice their lives and their health for their job.
1/4 Teaching is a tough job, and those who do it are enormously resilient. But sometimes I see an expectation seep into a school culture that they have to be impervious.
That they have to keep going come what may.
That they can't show weakness even to each other.
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Everybody's talking about menopause now, so we don't need to do anything to open up that conversation, right? Wrong.
We need to push back on all those insidious forces which silence conversation about perimenopause and menopause.
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open.substack.com/pub/helencla...
4/4 But if we want to be around and able to keep home and family running for a long time, then we have to take care of our own health - and we have to have those difficult conversations.
3/4 One of the greatest gifts of perimenopause is that it teaches us to put our own health first.
That can come as a surprise for those around us.
It can lead to some difficult conversation.
2/4 Preparing the food everyone else likes and not eating what's best for them.
Enduring poor sleep because the bedroom is comfortable for their partner.
Not being left with any time to exercise.
Not getting alone time to meditate or simply have calm.
1/4 One of the things that comes up in workshops again and again is that perimenopausal and menopausal women are sacrificing their health for the sake of those around them.
Dealing with high levels of stress because they carry all the responsibility at home.
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2/2 It's important that women have the chance to learn about perimenopause before they get there - and sometimes realise they are actually there! It's important we include all non-teaching staff too.
This is a whole school conversation and getting that conversation going begins to change things.
“Helen showed a passion for helping all staff and the need for all staff to have the skills to talk about menopause. She was also very realistic and had a good understanding of how things work in school and the difficulties staff may face” Hannah Hughes, EYFS and KS1 Lead Shield Road Primary
1/2 That's where it starts. I talk to all staff about menopause, open up the conversation and help them to talk about it with each other and at home.
All staff means all staff. It's really important that men are part of this conversation.
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6/6 I can help you write that policy - either by conducting a full scoping process with your staff and drafting an appropriate one, or by mentoring a member of staff who wants to lead on it - or by facilitating a menopause steering group.
5/6
And you need one that means something. That doesn't just sit in a cupboard or a drive. That people know about and buy into. That represents their needs.
4/6
- You need it because it's also a tool to inform staff about perimenopause which often shows up in unexpected ways and can get missed.
- You need it because it's an important element of caring for the wellbeing of your staff.
3/6
- You need it because staff need to know what to do when they are struggling with menopause and perimenopause.
- You need it because those staff need to have confidence that they can have that difficult conversation in a sensitive and practical way.
2/6
- You need it because you have a legal obligation to support employees through perimenopause and into menopause.
- You need it because it enables you to consider what that support might look like - and put reasonable boundaries on it.