Why does my guitar only play in the key of J?

Love Is: Not using your other half’s toothbrush to clean out the plug hole.

What do you reckon washing lines think about?

Can we have spring over and over again, with occasional bouts of autumn?

One day I will have completed another novel, and it will all be right here.

I’ve never truly understood the value of a NAS.

Only a handful of years ago, I would by now considered to be an old bloke.

I wonder what the expected blood-pressure rate is for setting up 2 Pcs?

Spending the day mixing lime mortar for a project. Need to be careful what I get hold of.

I might just be the only English Cattach.

My Great Butterfly Count. Peacock - 1.

You really should care where the funding is coming from.

I can’t believe the llamas have tunnelled their way out, again!

How is that you can get shoes off without untying them, but not back on? Science, off your arse.

Why aren’t there Easter Crackers? (Oh, and I just filed Copyright).

Think there’s an echo in here here here here here he

Perhaps they all need to try transcendental mediation...

“We’re going back to the moon!”
”Why?”

You thought you’d met some characters ‘til you met me.

Ah, reconstituted, processed and sweetened cocoa powder!

Life at one end of a sofa.....

Blokes doing the housework: Spend an hour using every single attachment on the vacuum, pick up the polish, give it one random squirt, vaguely flick the duster at the tv, and shout “Finished!”

Spent the day rehearsing my one line: “A pound of carrots” in my best Disney Cockney voice.

There are eleven teams in the quiz. We’re hoping for a top-ten finish.

I love being your interlocutor, if only for the joy of saying it.

The sign has fallen over again, this time flat on its back. Mother Nature is the cause. Or attention seeking.

Been There, Done That, No 3: Get into the shortest line at the tills only to find that the customers in front have a] bought an entire trolley full of items with no barcodes, b] have forty-seven coupons to use, and c] are the cashier’s mate, and they ALWAYS have a long chat.

Maths Teacher: “Why have you included a gym video with your homework?”
Me:”Well, Miss, you told us to include our working out.”

Observation is a powerful tool; often essential, but meaningless without understanding.

The sign is back up. The sign is back up! Such is the power of social media. MY POWER!!!