bro I’m just trying to buy a leather harness made from real cow why is capitalism making this so difficult

STOP CALLING THINGS VEGAN LEATHER ITS FUVKING PLASTIC ITS P L A S T I C

ITS
PLASTIC

it’s fucking plastic

fuck you and your non renewable fast fashion fucking plastic goddamit

lobster rolls in shokupan bun with old bay potato chippies

idk if yall follow my wife’s instagram but they’re posting the dinner we made with hot knife shokupan and wow we are so good at dinner here

btw if you say no then you’re boring and not fun

besties should I get a tattoo machine off temu lmao

they were actually my moms knives that my brother and I and our friends ruined and she made me take them when I moved out in my 20s lol

I’m in my 40s and I have really nice kitchen stuff now and you can pry my teenage hot knives from my cold arthritic hands

using my knife from hot knives to cut my butter for shokupan

a two-pack of steam deck

they should sell steam decks at Costco

this is a joke I’m never selling any of my fashion brand company pieces but there are literally four dresses I’ve bought and never worn because I have A Problem

for sale: fashion brand company dresses, never worn

every day more and more people are left handed

some kind of longhorn beetle idk

a swallowtail chrysalis that better hatch before I have to go on another long detail assignment for work

it’s cool bug season
everybody post ur cool bugs

A fat dick and immaculate politics

nissan skyline chili

Arcade Under Fire for Using Live Hamsters as Claw Machine Prizes

[skimming the title] i thought that band already got canceled for sex pestery

my own yogurt? delicious and nutritious
everybody else’s yogurt? why are you eating sour milk in my presence

why does other people’s yogurt smell like that

Kirk Van Houten saying I piss in the shower do you? Homer replies I piss in the bed with my wife

ME: There should be more lesbian porn where the mother of the groom hooks up with the bride
THE CEO OF THE COMPANY I WORK FOR: We celebrate all viewpoints and experiences. But we need you, as a team player, to stop saying that at work

those of you who are lucky enough to have met my wife irl will understand!!! they are the coolest funniest funnest most clever and handsome person ever AND they’re good at sex so yeah I been missing that

y’all I been on a detail assignment for work for NEARLY SIX MONTHS (only coming home for 36 hours every weekend!!) and I just found out yesterday it’s ending next Friday and I’m going back to my home office and holy shit I can’t wait to live with my wife again

me when I’m fully declothed now

me when they take my away my balls and/or ovaries

me when I’m wearing less clothes than before

Screenshot of a tweet by @softboywin. Text reads: Do slow walkers not get pissed off by how long it takes them to reach their destination?

Slowmogging seething and impatient grindcucked destinationcels while being a journeychad.

The website that I pirate comics off moved the search bar and it took me several minutes to find it

we got our off-brand chest freezer from bimart a few years ago and it was like maybe $150 brand new omg, start checking there for one

is this progressive

pooped so good it made me feel skinny