sory for the sudden hiatus LOL, i probably needed it, good news is i'm starting to draw again (?) after a real bad relapse, so maybe some gay sillies are to come in the future!!

drawing from last month.. i barely know anything about palworld but chillet is very cute.... wghat if chillet...... girlfriend????

it's probably gonna be a bit before i'm comfortable interacting with people on social media much again given various circumstances, but good things are happening.. just tryin to take it easy for now

other good news as well!! "modify" got re-monetized!!!!! this apparently happened months ago but youtube just, never really notified me and i didn't keep close tabs on it because i didn't expect it to get resolved without me pushing a bit more on the issue.. but that's a BIG relief!

doing better! been re-figuring out my relationship with art again.. and thankfully it's resulting in me being able to draw and animate again where i'd been struggling with that for a while!! i may be able to make some art for here soon..

sory for the lack of art in general lately, i've been very very busy with my main work since i'm kind of in a rush to Not remain below the poverty line income-wise following the demonetization of my only monetized video.. (there are ads on other videos but i'm not the one making munny off of them)

genuine request: if you don't like that kind of thing do not follow that account or be mean to me about it in general.... theres a reason im separating it.. im gonna do my best to make my depictions of it more Cute than anything else, not to censor myself or anything, dats just my style!!

i may or may not have developed a new Thing recently..... follow @bigolcheeks.bsky.social if youre interested in seeing any fart-related art from me whenever i do make it LOL

deleted the last post not because i regret it but rather because i'm not good at handling any sort of stress.. mwah mwah just dont be evil Okay?

gamemaker studio 2!

this is soooooooooooo awesome....... there's not enough "characters being wrapped up by a big long tongue" in tha world!!!!

( LOTS of temporary graphics )
silly videos game.....

if you're worried about how things might turn out, it could be a good idea to schedule shorter, more frequent check-ups with your prescriber.. that's what me and my prescriber do when we're unsure of how a med might turn out, or i can just make contact to try and get a quick appointment scheduled

it seems that's a common fear for a lot of medications but i think a lot of medications are worth at least trying if your doctor(s) recommend it to you and you could potentially benefit from it.... their effects aren't permanent after all!!

it seems like with anti-psychotics in general, from others' experience as well, its a Choice you have to make, and for my very specific situation where my modern psychotic symptoms aren't bad besides scary auditory hallucinations, i could probably learn to live with that if it means i can draw again

i'd say my case is very different LOL.. i'd been struggling with my imagination in general for about 2.5 years now (ever since i got put on abilify), when otherwise my imagination feels extremely powerful where inspiration came very naturally and from anywhere..

yea that sounds about right...... thankfully my psychotic symptoms these days arent too severe but hallucinations do happen (mostly auditory) that scare the shit out of me, especially at night.. but maybe i can learn to just Deal with that if it means i can seriously draw again

i worry that my anti-psychotic killed my imagination a lot, i felt that a bit earlier this week when i was off my meds for the weekend but right before i got back on my meds again i was flooded with all sorts of inspiration.. would be really unfortunate if that's truly the case

sux that it feels like over the past 2 years or so ive pretty much nearly completely fallen out of drawing despite how much i Don't want that to be the case.. but i'll be re-managing my meds soon including potentially getting back on HRT so hopefully that does something???

whar!!!!!!!!

oooooo she's excited

i feel crazy because this project is gonna require me to make like 19 character models total just for the first set of "stages", though at least the models + designs are pretty simple LOL.. im learning lots about making fancy cartoony rigs that are exportable into unity..

the gameplay itself is heavily inspired by parappa given i'm using my briefly-lived parappa fangame as a base LOL, plus i just loooove parappa and um jammer lammy in general.. here's a prototype screenshot thats yet to be updated from its extremely "parappa" origins

after 10 years of using ableton extremely sporadically, im finally sitting my ass down and learning how to make music proper and i am getting RESULTS!!! my current project idea is turning a recent cartoon idea into a playable cartoon musical pretty much as a rhythm game....

been a while but Fella Containment Facility is still in the works! i'm just taking a lil break from it to put all my focus into my main work

the most i still experience these days is my heart rate goes up a lot when i do any amount of notable movement and i can definitely feel the pounding that comes with that, but as far as i and any of my doctors are aware thats just because of me not being able to exercise much this past like 6 months

i guess its a good thing it turned out to be so minor, where my only real theory is it somehow had to do with the physical illness i went through right before my doctor found out about my heart rate.. it was the first time i got actually sick in like 5 years up to that point

i really hadn't been living very healthy either.. but what's weird is despite the 120-130 resting heart rate for a little while, even after an ER visit during it with an ekg and blood test and anything else they did, they couldn't find anything wrong and i never experienced any other symptoms..

my heart's been doing alright at the moment! it's still unknown exactly what was causing the elevated resting heart rate, it just sort of went away on its own, but me and my doctor(s) have been monitoring it pretty carefully as i go back up on my dosage of adderall + start exercising more

for the record im not really into like Bara or Hunks so if/when i draw men you're probably gonna see a lot of twink furrys LOL