I'm upset for you. I would slather that room in garlic butter in solidarity if I had the power to do so.

I'm gonna wait at the railing and wave at tour boats when I'm done with this spreadsheet!

My cherry danish and espresso soda with a view of the Chicago River in the background

Had to share a cafe table with a stranger like I'm in a damned episode of Frasier. His half-empty macchiato is photobombing my cherry danish.

I like these little bridge troll coffee shops tho.

There's a sick part of my little brain that has thought, can I work from the Water Taxi?

What if I just took my spreadsheets on a river boat tour with a bag of cookies? That's freewill.

Are they not here???

Do you need some garlic bread, hon?

🤣

And while they're doing all that, half the shit they manufacture isn't fit for purpose, ships broken, or has priced out their former consumer base. These ghouls aren't even making products and services that everyday people can use anymore, now it's all Skullify for the US Dept of Phrenology

See, my stance is that I wouldn't wanna give up human food to eat worms. Her position was that if you were a bird, you wouldn't know the difference.

Man, I miss when Ikea was empty on Friday nights. I stood around discussing what life would be like as a bird with this one employee. Nothing better to do.

I've seen so many women of all ages babushed up in printed scarves on the street today and I want that for me.

Brb, shopping poshmark for printed silk while Stevie Nicks plays in the background.

2026 Spring Trends of Chicago: Babushka scarves

Whoever this barista is, I love her playlist. Spiderwebs, You Oughta Know, and Jumpin, Jumpin'.

Some unusually wavy clouds framed against a deep cobalt sky on a brisk, sunny spring day in Chicago

Look at the sky today!

Saw a nice lesbian couple walking toward me arm-in-arm on the street. The more masc of the two was trying to herd the more femme partner to an awning in the cold rain, but she was too busy skipping and singing "It's a Hard Knock Life" as they dragged each other down the sidewalk in different fonts.

Hmm, but if the base metal for a chrome pole is steel, would it still stick?

There's seemingly no visible coating. Based on the texture, I wouldn't be afraid of it scratching off. Pretty sure that's why I slid off immediately 👀 wonder if I should report it to the company, bc I'm not sending it back and I didn't lose money

It's funny, I splurged on a pole for home and for all that money and a month to ship, I'm pretty sure they sent me a more expensive stainless steel pole, not chrome.

I checked my receipt and I def ordered chrome. But it has striations, is extra slippery, and I can't wipe the fingerprints...

I saw a guy in a Dallas Stars jersey out and about at the Linkin Park Zoo today. I feel like that's a bold move around here and I praise him for it.

It makes you feel any better, I saw a guy at the zoo wearing a Minnesota Wild jersey today. And on the back it was Suter.

That poor bastard spent money on a Suter jersey. At least that isn't you.

Oh...oh my god. It's all true.

He supports her hobbies. Why can't she support his?

homer simpson from the simpsons is holding a baseball bat and saying " must protect sugar " . ALT: homer simpson from the simpsons is holding a baseball bat and saying " must protect sugar " .

Why does tonic water have so much damn SUGAR?

I knew this was coming 🥁

You know it's gonna be good when they use enougb schmear for it to gush out the top.

This man is my sexuality.

I was off dating until a friend kept showing up with cortados and pastries. Now he's got me.

A pretzel bagel with garlic dill cream cheese gushing out the top and a black cherry soda from Schneider's Deli

A close-up of my pretzel bagel gushing with garlic dill cream cheese

Two toasty latkes with little cups of applesauce and sour cream on the side

An iced yuzu matcha tonic in a tall, fluted glass

What a bagel!

A screenshot of the full Simpsons and nyx collaboration at ulta. It features three lip glosses in the shape of parts head, some blush and bronzer and donut shapes with Homer's hand grabbing across the product, a tube of frog glue with Marge's hair as the cap, and eyeshadow color pack that looks like The Simpsons home tv, and finally two lip glosses featuring Patty and Selma's jewelry on the tube.

Who is this makeup collab for? Like, for me and only me?

GenZ doesn't know the Simpsons and Millennial women are too fancy and grown now. But I guess I'll buy it.

I had to brandish things at so many people tonight. I almost got hit 3 times just on the way home. Now a fog rolled in so they better slow down.