I am doing the same and had to open up my document titled 'Complete Nonsense' to add RUBBER CHAINSAW which I overheard the old woman next to me say to her daughter.

I did one from the paper as a teenager, according to that I had a higher IQ than Stephen Hawking.
When they sent me my certificate the name was spelled "Zeyton" because the geniuses at Mensa thought they knew my name better than me.

No. They're banned in most schools already.
My girlfriend is a secondary school teacher, I showed her this article yesterday and she just shrugged her shoulders and said "it makes no difference, we already do it anyway" and then asked what was for dinner.

No. My girlfriend is a secondary school teacher, I showed her this article yesterday and she just shrugged her shoulders and said "it makes no difference, we already do it anyway" and then asked what was for dinner.

Room booked in Cambridge 👍

Yeay!

Every time Michael Jackson is played anywhere or is mentioned by anyone, I say as loudly as I can "HE WAS A PAEDOPHILE".

Watching GODZILLA X KONG: THE NEW EMPIRE.

I've got no time for Kong, I'm all about Godzilla! He doesn't hurt his arm and need humans to make him a metal fist.

Godzilla eats a French nuclear power plant for breakfast, fucks up a ginger monkey then goes to sleep in the colosseum—like a fucking King!

So… who is considering going to CHEAPSHOW LIVE (episode #500) in Cambridge on Sun 23 August 2026?

I've had to sack off Edinburgh and Brighton Fringes this year and have nothing in the diary—due to being unemployed. But I am going to this, no matter what.

Who's with me?
Leave a message and repost.

My toddler threw a toy pig at an artwork – and inspired this guide for small kids in galleries For the first instalment of Young at art – a new series on the delights and dangers of introducing small children to art – Chloë Ashby weighs up whether it’s worth the effort

"the dangers of introducing small children to art…" 🤣

Cheese heads. I am using that 👍

Liverpool cheese shop rejects claim it will be a 'rowdy nuisance' Owners of a Liverpool cheese shop face objections over plans to relocate to a new premises.

This story will make a fantastic comedy sketch.

An objector said the cheese shop was "part of a rowdy and menacing atmosphere in the area".

Imagine being punched in the face by an angry youth whose fists stink of cheese—tanked up on camembert and beaujolais 🤣

Would be lovely to see you.

Cambro-bro 🤘

There are direct trains from London, takes 50-70mins and Cambridge is a very nice place to visit.

It'd be lovely to see you if you can make it 👍

So we're excluding trans people from sport for fairness… but also claiming that a robot "ran a marathon".

Make it make sense please.

Just a thought: How about we stop shaming the poor for buying things that may not be essential, and start shaming the rich for making a profit off things that are essential?

In the era of "we must exclude trans people from playing sport, for Fairness" it's actually quite sickening for various media outlets to be all "check out out, a ROBOT won a marathon!"

Always good to have you onboard.

Emo Savile.
It's not cruel, he's a creepazoid.

So… who is considering going to CHEAPSHOW LIVE (episode #500) in Cambridge on Sun 23 August 2026?

I've had to sack off Edinburgh and Brighton Fringes this year and have nothing in the diary—due to being unemployed. But I am going to this, no matter what.

Who's with me?
Leave a message and repost.

Oh dear, Google Maps. That's the most disappointing pan right ever! 🙄

It is, we both like it.

Only just noticed it's 355ml, slightly more than a UK tin.

Yeay! After hearing about Dr Pepper Blackberry on the Nick Helm episode of @cheapshow.bsky.social, I told the bloke in the cornershop.
Despite going "yeah" in a fuck-off-mate sort of way, he has got it!

PS. Not holding out hope for Jurassic Park: Rebirth. That dinosaur looks demented and needy.

A future sport I would watch DROID-HUNTING.

Contestants chase after droids and have to cut them down with axes like Viking berserkers.

Dirty, evil bastards.

Trump energy secretary says gas prices might not drop back under $3 a gallon until 2027 Chris Wright says ‘I don’t know’ when asked about lower cost of gas as average price soars to $4 a gallon in US

Let's hope American gas prices stay high for as long as possible.

Their President is a paedophile who thinks he's Jesus and the head of EVERY government dept is either incompetent, an alcoholic or both… but high gas prices seem to be the only alarm bell that's ringing for the American public.

In 1992 #DoctorWho star Peter Capaldi auditioned for the part of Benjamin Sisko on #StarTrek Deep Space Nine.

Imagine if he got the part, Sisko's Dad would've run a chip shop in Glasgow 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿.

Instead of cooking jumbalya in his quarters, he'd been handing out deep fried Mars bars to everyone in Ops.