a detailed chart breaking down what counts as a "blowjob brothers." The top row has a "purist" section labelled "the blowjob brothers must be a pair of males," a "neutral section labelled "the blowjob brothers may be any gender," and a "radical" section labelled "the blowjob may be any conceptual pair." The left column also has "purist," "neutral," and "radical" sections, labelled "the blowjob brothers must be explicitly aligned in some way," "the blowjob brothers are unaligned but may cooperate on a shared objective," and "the blowjob brothers may be enemies or rivals who frequently clash" respectively. Each intersection contains an example image and text, detailed as follows: Purist/Purist contains Bulk and Skull from Power Rangers, Neutral/Purist contains Shin and Noi from Dorohedoro, and Radical/Purish contains Spectacle Rock from The Legend of Zelda. Neutral/Purist contains Ryo Saeba and Umibozu from City Hunter, Neutral/Neutral contains Q and Kathryn Janeway from Star Trek Voyager, and Neutral/Radical contains the Namco and Capcom, as detailed on the boxart of the crossover game Namco X Capcom. Radical/Purist contains Kazuma Kiryu and Daisaku Kuze from Yakuza 0, Radical/Neutral contains Natsuo Ishidou and Yuzuko Mawatari from Teppu, and Radical/Radical contains the New York Yankees and the Boston Red Sox.

i made a chart

men writing erotica: John was attending Sex University, where all of the students and teachers are horny for sex

women writing erotica: John was attending Sex University, where sex is strictly forbidden… yet John yearns for his fellow student Douglas, who is also a secret monster man

I LOVE LANGUAGE (not just saying this to curry fauvel with weird medieval guys)

news headline that reads "Christmas: Brussels sprouts will be 25% bigger this year, thanks to silt and sea breezes"

cowards

screenshot of a headline reading "Christmas: Brussels sprouts will be 25% bigger this year, and may be sexier too"

im listening...

every year around christmas time the ballet dancers who play the rats in the nutcracker come out with a series of unexplained banger tiktok videos and anyway this is my favorite part of the holiday season

laptop screen showing actors Jared Harris and Liam garrigan on a zoom call along with a talented moderator

TERROR CAMP 2024 BLOWING MY MIND ‼️ fandom and academia dancing through a meadow of wildflowers holding hands

God grant me the serenity to accept I am cooked,

The courage to say fuck it we ball,

And the wisdom to know when we are so back

Happy birthday to Bram Stoker, who knew exactly what he was doing with this letter to Walt Whitman

STEPHIN MERRITT: Am I original?

CLAUDIA GONSON: Yeah

STEPHIN MERRITT: Am I the only one?

CLAUDIA GONSON: Yeah

STEPHIN MERRITT: Am I sexual?

CLAUDIA GONSON: Yeah

STEPHIN MERRITT: Am I everything you need?

CLAUDIA GONSON: You better rock your body now

Vladimir: Well, shall we log off?
Estragon: Yes, let's log off.

[They do not log off.]

me a half hour ago: this is not a religious matter, this is about the Palestinian right to a free nation.

me after learning about the IDF sperm retrieval unit: this is a holy war

There’s a word in modern German slang, Knäckebrottelefonierer, which describes a person who talks into their phone while holding it in front of their mouth like a cracker. It literally means “crispbread phoner”

L.L. Bean is short for Ladies Love Bean

(confidently) my Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead skeets wouldve done numbers over on Threads

i came here to chew bubblegum and skeet about Olga Tokarczuk's prizewinning 2018 novel Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead, and baby im all out of gum

celine dion "je telephone a la police" meme

janina duszejko after committing half a dozen murders:

janina duszejko got me like #notallserialkillers

just read a crime novel from the 1960s where the huge SHOCK TWIST is that the killer isn't a man she's a LESBIAN. representation win 💪

who else homgrhry

Black cat sleeping on a cracked windshield

Orange cat sleeping in a hole in a tree stump

(David Attenborough voice) this is how they arrive on earth

[waving hand dismissively] yes yes the horrors are ceaseless and all-consuming